We have two live gargle shows at the Edinburgh Fringe.

Please come along to the Edinburgh Fringe, the 15th and the 22nd of August.

I will be there and an array of delightful guests.

So book your tickets now.

Go to thebugelpodcast.com, forward slash live to buy tickets.

The Bugel Audio Newspaper for a Visual World

Hello, Bugelers and welcome to issue 4,094 of the Bugel, the audio newspaper,

viewed by historians and scientists as the closest available equivalent to having an

ancient Egyptian tomb full of topical hieroglyphs collapse on top of you while you're trying

to steal stuff from a museum from it.

I am Andy Zoltzman and I've had enough lunch.

So I'm all set and ready to go to sleep and joining me this week bloody font.

I'm telling you this is the last time I used to font this big as the bishop said to the Catholic elephant.

We are here, sorry we are here in flounders, sorry flounders as London is now known

and joining me to jab sticks into the already putrifying flesh of this week's news to see if it makes a noise.

Firstly, it's the man who leaves the trail of destruction in his wake wherever he goes on a football pitch.

Next Kumar, hello Andy.

Hello Alice, hello Bugelers, I play hard Andy.

I play hard.

Also let me open it.

Spoiler alert, he hasn't introduced me yet.

All right, okay.

...