Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Baelif Jesse Thorn. This week, Bro Kovor.

Brothers Edmund and Garth plan to grow and raise all of their food for an entire year,

but they can't agree on some of the details of their plan. Garth thinks they should have

an exception for things like chocolate and coffee. Edmund says they need to go whole hog.

Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman

enters the courtroom. Plant corn when the oak leaves are the size of a squirrel's ear,

or when the hickory buds are as big as a crow's bill.

Barry pieces of rhubarb in the row when planting cabbage to protect it against club root.

When planting corn or squash in the hills, be generous with the seed to allow for mishaps.

Remember the old rule of thumb, one for the woodchuck, one for the crow, one for the slug, and one to grow.

And when seeking justice on the internet, be generous with your bandwidth, do not use wireless,

but hard wired connections and external microphones. And remember the old rule of thumb,

one line for the bailiff and one for the grudge, one for the witness, and one for the dredge.

This has been the Judge John Hodgman Almanac. See you next time. Do good work and Jesse Thorn

swear them in. Please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever? I do. I do.

You swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that it's not necessary for him to

eat as he can subsist exclusively on air. I do. I do. Very well, Judge Hodgman. You're right, Jesse.

I am an air, air, and it's not just Victorian girls. No. I eat only locally sourced air.

It's great for my skin, and I feel like I have a lot of energy and I sleep real well,

but I do fart and burp a lot. These are the trade-offs when you want to live your life in a

ridiculous way. That's why you're known as the windy judge. Yeah. Speaking of which,

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