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The Therapy Crouch

British Problems Special: Crumpets, Beards & Public Toilets

The Therapy Crouch

Therapy Crouch

Comedy, Mum, Parenting, Agony Aunt, Marriage, Dad, Relationships, Society & Culture, Advice, Peter Crouch, Abbey Clancy, Kids & Family, Sex, Funny, Partners, Couples Therapy, Couples, Therapy, Relax

4.7 β€’ 3.7K Ratings

πŸ—“οΈ 25 September 2025

⏱️ 44 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Peter and Abbey dive headfirst into a stream of chaotic anecdotes, seasonal gripes, and painfully relatable British problems sourced straight from Reddit.


From festive meltdowns over Β£30 advent calendars to public transport germ warfare, the duo unpack it all with their trademark banter and no-holds-barred honesty. Abbey discusses crumpet logistics, while Peter reflects on outrageous public toilets, nostalgic piracy, and QR code culture.


Packed with bizarre encounters, candid parenting confessions, and laugh-out-loud moments, this episode showcases the Crouch household at its most chaotic and most lovable.


00:00 – Crumpet Chaos and HydraFacials

01:10 – Pre-Christmas Parenting Meltdown

02:45 – The Advent Calendar Disaster

04:15 – Facials, Fridges, and Forget Christmas Gifts

05:30 – Horse Riding vs Competition Anxiety

06:20 – Reddit Rants Begin

07:15 – Big Coat Gamble Season

08:45 – Crumpet Dribble & Bearded Hygiene

10:00 – Toilet Trauma Across the UK

11:45 – Strange Friends in Stations

13:00 – Unhinged Dating Shows & Island Obsession

14:15 – QR Code Culture Has Gone Too Far

15:40 – Road Rage & Driving Disasters

17:00 – Grandparents Day Is... a Thing Now?

18:30 – British Rage, Beeping, and Silent Mistakes

20:00 – Wrap Up: Bone Broth & Vitamin D


Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 


Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast


TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 


Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 


For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch


For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy


Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg


#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #BritishProblems #Podcast


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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This podcast is sponsored by Uber Eats, my go-to app when I've done enough.

0:04.2

You know that feeling when you've just done enough? Like the to-do list is still a mile long, but you know you've already done enough. I felt like this the other day because I went to about 10 shops to get all the kids' uniforms. I did a big food shop. I had stuff to drop off at the dry cleaners. I had to pick Sophia up from tennis. then out to go back and get liberty from dance.

0:23.2

And the last thing I wanted to do was cook. So it was just one of those days where I was like, I've done enough, you know? And this is where Uber Eats comes in. Because when you've done enough, Uber Eats. Exactly. If you've had a long day, remember, it's not about giving, it's about rewarding the effort, no matter how big or small, right?

0:41.4

100%. I wasn't going to cook after that day, so I ordered my go-to comfort meal. You know what it was, babe? A chicken madras.

0:48.3

Oh.

0:49.0

I was chilled. There was no dishes, no stressed, and I had a well-earned reset.

0:53.1

So the next time you've conquered your day,

0:55.4

whether it's a marathon or just making it through a Monday,

0:58.4

order some food on Uber Eats.

1:00.8

This podcast is sponsored by Heck, food made to make a difference.

1:04.5

Pete, you know the Heck chicken, Italian sausages we can't get enough of?

1:08.0

Babe, the garlic, mozzarella and tomato ones.

1:11.1

That's the ones.

1:11.9

The ones that keep mysteriously disappearing from the fridge.

1:15.3

Well, heck of taking the flavour we love and reimagined it as their new chicken

1:19.9

Italian sausage rashes.

1:21.7

Rashes?

1:22.7

Babe, this sounds like a game changer.

1:24.9

Exactly.

1:25.5

Thin and tasty and ready in under five minutes. Perfect for busy mornings or when the family's hungry and you just need something fast. And they've still got that flavour we all know and love. Oh yeah. Juicy chicken with garlic, mozzarella, sun-dried tomato and basil. Well, what more could you want? You could have the minasani stirred through pasta. Straight off the tray. I am starving, just thinking about it. And because they're high in protein, they keep you going instead of sending you back to the fridge an hour later. I thought my fry-up had peaked with heck sausages. You'd think so? But heck are more than just sausages. They make bangers, burgers, mince, and now these revolutionary rashes.

2:02.6

You can find heck in all major retailers, and the new chicken Italia rashes,

2:06.7

are available now exclusively at Tesco Morrison's.

...

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