Brian Simpson Almost Died | Your Mom's House Ep. 852

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Tom Segura

Society & Culture, Tv & Film, Relationships, Comedy Interviews, Comedy

4.7 • 23.7K Ratings

🗓️ 25 March 2026

⏱️ 79 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

_The End_ is Ari's new storytelling show! It's almost here! Premieres April 16 on https://theend.ymhstudios.com/. Presale pricing only available for a short time! You get 7 full, hour long episodes of completely unfiltered stories for $24.99. SPONSORS: - Text YMH to 64000 to get a FREE pocket pivot and their 10-pattern sprayer with the purchase of ANY size Copper Head hose. Message and data rates may apply. - Head to https://factormeals.com/ymh50off and use code ymh50off to get 50 percent off and free breakfast for a year. This week, Tom’s away, so Christina P calls in Brian Simpson, who after an appropriately timed "I'm having chest pains" drop, immediately reveals he almost died last month. What follows is a hilarious and horrifying breakdown of Brian’s heart attack on the road in Atlanta, and the odyssey of ICU insanity, sexy nurses, fried chicken in the cardiac unit, missing meds, CVS incompetence, and the always awful VA. Once they’re done unpacking death, survival, and why Americans are apparently supposed to just die quietly, Christina and Brian swerve into Justin Timberlake’s DUI arrest, Dolly Parton’s tits, looksmaxxing, TikTok freaks, adult summer camp psychos, horny grannies, gay blacks, and the fart BIG WORD lady trying to explain herself on The Breakfast Club. Grab your Life Alert and enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 852 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:41 - Opening Clip: I'm Having Chest Pain 00:03:22 - Brian Simpson Almost Died 00:11:22 - Getting To The Hospital 00:22:13 - The Wacky American Healthcare System 00:33:06 - New Lease On Life 00:37:40 - Gay Black Guy Stuff 00:40:13 - Horny Granny 00:42:20 - Justin Timberlake Arrest Footage 00:45:42 - Dolly Parton's Funbags 00:51:27 - TikToks 01:04:51 - The Fart Slur Lady Apologizes 01:10:41 - More White People Shit 01:16:46 - Closing Song - "Chest Pain" by MANOLO Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.
0:07.0	Now are all the traitors present? Let's get started, shall we?
0:16.0	From rags to riches. I'm so sick of this. Working like a dog and being treated worse.
0:20.0	Yorkshire to New York.
0:22.2	Or climbers, you and me. A life dedicated to revenge. Let's make this an occasion to remember.
0:28.4	A woman of substance on Channel 4. Stream now. What's up, Mommies? Thank you for joining us today.
0:34.7	Tim is out on official show business, but I've got a pretty fucking great co-host today.
0:40.2	Please put your hands together for Brian Simpson, everybody.
0:43.8	That's right.
0:44.6	I love you so much.
0:45.5	I've arrived.
0:46.6	Yeah, thank you for coming here.
0:48.0	Of course.
0:48.6	You've had quite a harrowing time.
0:51.4	Yeah, I almost died last month.
0:55.2	Hold on. Let's start last month. Hold on.
0:56.2	Let's start the show.
0:59.2	And I'll do this.
1:00.7	24-hour emergency medical response service.
1:04.7	Watch.
1:05.4	You just test this button and speak into the air.
1:09.1	I'm having chest pain. I'm having chest pain Ha ha ha ha ha ha
	...

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