Welcome to Love and Abuse, the show about navigating the difficult relationship,

from simple disagreements to emotionally abusive behaviors.

You deserve respecting kindness.

All the information on this show is meant for educational purposes only.

Always seek a professional for your mental health and well-being, and always pick your battles wisely.

I'm your host, Paul Koliani.

Speaking of always seeking a professional for your mental health and well-being,

this is especially important for this episode because I'm going to talk about a trauma bond or trauma bonding where you're just obsessively

connected and attached to the person that's hurting you.

And that comes from being with someone or starting a relationship with someone and falling in love with them typically.

And as you invest more and more into the relationship, you find your happiness, your joy,

your sense of worth, your sense of meaning.

And this isn't with everyone, but a lot of these components

of what make you feel good and even great, and even the best you've ever felt, all of these

components can exist at the beginning of an unhealthy relationship and a toxic relationship,

which is also an unhealthy relationship, but any

kind of traumatic or abusive relationship that forms, typically forms with the beginning being

almost perfect, like soulmate kind of perfect, because they are fulfilling everything you want.

And the abusive person who fulfills everything you want doesn't seem abusive.

They seem like the perfect catch, the perfect partner.

So as the relationship continues, as it goes on through the weeks and months

and years, you become attached to this person who, no matter what they do, if they hurt you,

...