Breaking Dawn

Rude Tales of Magic

Bucket of Milk

Comedy Fiction, Leisure, Comedy, Fiction

4.9 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 3 November 2020

⏱️ 79 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Check out our store at rudetalesofmagic.com for HOT HOT deals on sweet sweet shirts, live show recordings, and more! We got Polaris University sweaters for the cold weather! We thought of everything!

Our Patreon keeps the lights on and truly, in all sincerity is what keeps the show going. If you're already a subscriber, thank you. If you're not, well, it's never too early to blossom into the patron butterfly THE LORD intended you to be. Do so HERE.

And follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.

We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul. Without your support we'd have an actual bucket for a hat, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you.

This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates all sort of brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.

AND!! The "Trashlands" music appears courtesy of Derek & Brandon Fiechter. You can support them on Bandcamp right here

Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!

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Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.

Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/

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Transcript

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0:00.0	This is a HeadGum podcast.
0:04.0	Ah, there you are a traveler.
0:10.0	Come inside, hang up your coat, put your feet by the fire, and I shall
0:19.6	bring you what you so desperately seek.
0:24.0	Rood tales of magic.
0:42.3	Welcome back to Root Tales of Magic. We're starting in Media Res. Get used to it, asshole.
0:43.5	As you speed down the road, the dust kicking up behind you,
0:47.0	the sound of flapping grows louder and louder,
0:49.6	drowning out your very thoughts,
0:51.4	the unmistakable aroma of the bat, nature's theater tech, hits your nostrils, filling them with the pungent musk of phosphate and potassium. That's guano, baby. On your faces you feel the rush of air, but behind you you're chased by dry
1:06.7	Rapids as the air becomes choppy with thousands of breezes the size of boa
1:11.7	constrictors mashing towards you.
1:14.0	Hundreds of bats, the size of men, shrieked echolocating you.
1:19.0	Your scorpion mounts seem agitated and wild, making them harder to control.
1:24.8	The dark pink and purple clouds of the night sky heart slightly to reveal shantilly mace,
1:31.3	the beheaded constellation of the damned.
1:33.8	You're about two miles shy of several vast sandstone maces,
1:38.4	shaped like the back ends of the horse,
1:40.5	Nature's linebacker.
1:41.9	The very tips of the maces have just begun to reflect that first
1:46.4	rumor of Dawn. Albie, you're up at the front of the pack. You move first.
1:52.1	Okay, I'm surveying my surroundings and I'm
	...

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