The following podcast is a dear media production.

Welcome to the Absolutely Not Podcast,

where we do the most and the least at this same damn time.

I'm your host, Heather McMahon.

Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another episode of the

Absolutely not podcast. How are you? Hope you're having a gorgeous glorious day.

We are sweating our dicks off here in Atlanta, Georgia, and it feels good though. It's at good

heat where you know you feel like you're in your sauna bag, you're going out to run basic errands, you're going to the bank, you're going to the dry cleaners, you're dropping your kids off at camp, and you get out of the car and it is a soft, small, one might say, koi pond of just absolute ass sweat in your leather seats and that

means it's summer baby so it's a good feeling and a bad feeling I'm wearing a

dress today by Zara it is absolutely I believe a maternity dress but I don't have to wear a bra. You know I don't want anything

touching my body. I am at that point of the summer. It's only begun but of course because of global

warming I'm at the point where it feels like the seventh layer of hell like I don't like get off me don't touch me

Don't hug me you can give me a nice thumbs up from across the parking lot, but I don't want anything touching me.

I don't want to wear a bra.

I'm freeballing.

I just want to live, laugh, love, with nothing touching my body.

So that's where I'm at, you know, went back and just got bullied at my local coffee shop that as they usually do.

Tina and I went for a nice walk. We've been working in the office. I said, let's get a nice coffee.

And these fuckers made me gasoline. I mean it tastes like Wushishir,

and I go back for more. I hate it, I don't like it. Only two milk options. I won't go

into that whole story because those of y'all who have been here understand you know this is the

fucking place it only gives me whole milk or oat well guess what gonna shit my

...