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Love and Abuse

Both sides of emotional abuse: The offensive abuser and the defensive abuser

Love and Abuse

Paul Colaianni

Mental Health, Lies, Emotional, Health & Fitness, Psychological, Society & Culture, Deception, Manipulation, Narcissism, Verbal, Abuse, Relationships

4.6816 Ratings

🗓️ 15 April 2020

⏱️ 44 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Sometimes emotional abuse in adult relationships is the result of childhood trauma, neglect or abuse. Sometimes it's the result of the other person being abusive toward you so in order to get your needs met, you might have to become controlling and manipulative yourself. No matter how it happens, this episodes is about how to learn about and stop the behavior.

Love and Abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook on manipulation and emotional abuse at loveandabuse.com.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to Love and Abuse, the show about helping you identify poisonous communication and toxic behavior.

0:07.4

You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.

0:10.9

That's why it's important that you learn to pinpoint manipulative and controlling behavior so that you keep your power and your sanity.

0:18.6

I'm your host, Paul Koliani.

0:31.5

Thank you. power and your sanity. I'm your host, Paul Koliani. Welcome back to another episode of love and abuse. If this is your first time here,

0:37.0

welcome. If this is your second or more time here,

0:40.7

it's good to have you back. And I want to remind you that all information on this show is meant

0:46.1

for educational purposes only. Always seek a professional for your mental health and well-being.

0:51.3

I'm going to read you some snippets of an email, a certain situation that this

0:55.3

person is in and may still be in. I'm not sure. This is a few months old. But I want to address

1:01.6

the topic specifically because this can happen in relationships and probably does happen in the

1:08.1

majority of relationships of the people that listen to this show.

1:12.4

And this applies to any type of relationship, whether it is a romantic relationship, a botanic

1:17.7

relationship, a family relationship, emotional abuse, manipulation, control is all part of our

1:25.4

makeup, believe it or not. I mean, we are all capable of doing this. Some of us do it

1:31.2

to a certain level and some of us do it without empathy. Some of us do it without caring.

1:39.4

And some of us actually do care and still do it. Why do we still do it? Because we have coping mechanisms.

1:47.7

We have survival mechanisms. They kick in and we can turn into this manipulative, controlling person.

1:56.5

Why would we do that? Why would we do that to someone we love? Because if you do that, you may not be adaptable to their behavior.

2:07.3

Now, let me kind of explain that a little bit.

2:10.3

Let's just say that someone you love does something that you don't agree with.

2:16.3

What do you do?

...

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