What is this a new if I were you podcast well kind of these are episodes that were living

behind our Patreon for the last five years and we figured why not release some of the

best ones onto this feed to reward those of you that never gave up that never unsubscribed

so please enjoy this classic episode of if I were you recorded at our old studio in 2018.

If I were you, if I were you, if I were you, I'll tell you what I want to, if only I were you,

bingo bingo welcome to the show folks let's try one with a different catchphrase you're

trying to what do a catchphrase at the top like every show that's good has like a thing okay

well we have a show that's bad now because of your catchphrase bingo bingo all right check

this one out okay it's about to get wet in here you're listening why all right all right all right

all right give me one more let's get come dry no no let's get it's getting gross let me do one

just you're you're overthinking it just think about well we'll work on a t-shirt right

oh yes sissy fuckers let's walk the plank together yeah that's the shirt argue sissy fuckers which

is you know offensive you said like come dropping or something come drunk come drunk yeah I don't

want to do okay I'll do one more pirates are pretty hacky too I don't want not to want to

try to do like three words boom big black letters on a shirt we can sell it

what I want to fuck your butt so it's like a gage Dracula

okay we have anal sex with somebody that's the opposite sex too all right so it's anal

Dracula no vampires no pirates just be you what would you say ready yeah

semen shower time that's that's almost as bad as what you got mad at me for the

well that's because it's not what's on my head you do one fucking up you I can't think of any

you go back all right all right

who's ready for rice

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