Hi everyone it is Whole30 day 21. It's Sunday I think it's June 4th sounds right. I am on

my way to my first run club and I am really really nervous. I hate running as you all are

intimately aware and this is just running every Sunday for the next eight weeks.

And I'm really nervous.

And I just, the reason I'm nervous is because I am really self-conscious about my running and that's why I will not go to

workouts when there's going to be running because I know that no matter what

else is in the workout even if it's you know double

unders or whatever like other thing that I actually am good at no matter what else

is actually in the workout if there is any amount of, I will come in last in that workout because that is how bad I am.

Like that's how weak of a runner I am. And it's not, you know, and I know that like everybody's just paying attention to themselves nobody's

like judging me for being slow but it still is just even apart from like being worried

about other people think which you know it's never fun to be the

slowest person I am just really nervous about having to have my own insecurity on

display of just like this is my weakest move this is my weakest

thing ever like I've never ever been a good runner I've always hated it I remember even

like in elementary school having to run the mile and being out there for so much longer than everyone else that the gym

teacher like sent out some other people to come like finish the run with me because they had been done for so long and they

just like it was you know just mortifying and I

just you know think about that I guess like every time I run of like I'm going to be the one

who's still out there and it's been like that my

whole life and so the idea of this is to get better but it's just very much like

a double-edged sword because like on the one hand you know you're not

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