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Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Bley’s Fastballs Part I

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Team Coco & Earwolf

Comedy

4.857.5K Ratings

🗓️ 15 January 2026

⏱️ 20 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Conan helps Aaron Bleyaert improve the quality of his segment pitches for the podcast. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walking blues, climb the fence, books and pens, I can tell that we are going to be friends.

0:17.7

I can tell that we are going to be friends. All right, we are fresh off a huge argument here in the studio. That was a brawl. That was an all-out brawl. Still smarts. And I'll tell you what was going on. And part of me wishes that we were rolling on this, but I guess that's expensive. Is that right, Eduardo? Is that why you don't roll on things that are really captivating?

0:38.8

I try to protect you at all times.

0:40.8

Yeah, okay. We were thinking about what are we going to talk about in this segment? And I don't know if anyone else wants to agree with me or disagree with me, but I hope agree with me. Blay, you pitched an idea

0:52.4

and you're like,

0:52.9

oh, you guys could talk about

0:53.9

and I said,

0:55.3

yeah, I don't know.

0:56.2

And then you went,

0:56.7

okay, another idea.

0:57.7

Blah, you pitched an idea and you're like, oh, you guys could talk about, and I said, yeah, I don't know. And then you went, okay, another idea. And then I said, well, I'm not, and then you said, hey, and a third one. And I said, hey, just slow your role, man. You were like someone put 15 quarters into a pitch machine and they were firing in at 90 miles an hour. And I was getting hit by fastballs left and right.

1:13.1

And I was like, calm down and let the creative process happen.

1:16.7

And then I said to Sona, you said, well, I'm not going to say anything.

1:21.4

And I said, well, no, it would be nice if you had an idea.

1:24.7

Can we just clarify something?

1:26.2

This is a Thursday episode where we normally do a fan episode. Yeah. So we're trying to come up with. Yeah, but you know, and listen, we ran out of fans. We should just tell people right now. Worldwide. Done. We're done. We're done. We talk to all 111 of our fans. That's right. Worldwide, some of them three times, and they would put on moustaches and different accents.

1:47.9

We tried to fill it out as much as we could, and then we officially talked to the last fan, and we didn't have a fan this week.

1:57.3

I think it's actually more complicated than that.

1:59.4

Yeah.

1:59.8

And we should say that that's what we're doing here is we're using this episode. We were first pitching ideas and then it got into the talking about pitching. And then I have a quick question, what the fuck is a pitch machine? Yeah. Do you mean like a baseball pitch machine? Baseball baton cage. But then it's also like it can be double because he's pitching things. Yeah.

2:17.8

Yeah.

2:35.5

That's nice. It has a double meaning. But I think you gave it more than he ever intended. No, I'm sorry. I think he tried to think of us. T.S. Eliot thought about his words before he put them to the page. I mean, can we then talk about what Eduardo said? Well, just a second. There's a thing that I'm... There's a thing I'm sensitive to,

...

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