4.6 • 14.6K Ratings
🗓️ 20 December 2025
⏱️ 44 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Jackie celebrates Chrismukkah early by spreading joy (not) on all things festive and annoying. From targeting innocent civilians, berating Bachelor contestants and expressing distaste for the holidays - just paint this bitch green and move her to Who-ville.
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| 0:52.9 | Bah humbug, bitches. |
| 0:55.1 | I'm back. |
| 1:02.0 | It's Jackie Schimel, writer and creator of blog turned podcast, The Bitch Bible, on American soil, doing what I do best, talking to myself aimlessly. |
| 1:07.9 | I've got lots, years, decades of experience, actually. |
| 1:13.9 | Sorry to miss last week's podcast. I was on a plane eating my ass off. I just been home for, |
| 1:23.7 | let's see, like four days now. Feels good. |
| 1:28.9 | Missed the vitamin D. |
| 1:31.4 | Getting a little color back in my cheeks. |
| 1:34.0 | Leo, shut the fuck up. |
| 1:36.4 | Or I'm going to shove my foot up your asshole. |
| 1:38.8 | Oh, God, this fucking dog. |
| 1:39.9 | He's such a dick. |
| 1:45.9 | He thinks that he's like international now and more cultured and well-traveled so he's just been a complete fucking terrorist um holidays are coming up this is a special chrismika episode i'm having |
| 1:53.6 | a corona light because i'm figure conscious and i have absolutely nothing prepared i have no idea what's going on in the world of pop culture or the news or world of first. |
| 2:05.3 | Oh my God. |
| 2:07.2 | Sorry, I'm sitting in the kitchen and there is a fucking nest of birds. |
... |
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