Hey!

Hey!

It's been a hot second, but I'm back.

You know, they say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. And truthfully, I've spent

decades challenging that theory. But for my own personal benefit, I'm going to hope that it's true.

If this is your first time listening to this podcast, I'd like to offer a disclaimer.

Firstly, the term bitch is a term of endearment. So is hooker

and fucker. Bitches say what they mean and mean what they say without intentionally trying to be

mean. Does that make sense? Probably not. Directness, for me, at least, is a way of life that I

encourage and celebrate. If this is already too much for you, you should probably just stop

listening now. But you know what? Continue to subscribe for a couple weeks or just hate listen.

You know, that's a real thing, trust me.

You can slide up into my DMs and you'll understand what I'm talking about.

I never turned down to download, so just help me help you.

Just think of it like as philanthropy, make a wish foundation, if you will.

Anyways, my name is Jackie Schimmel.

I created a really, really subpar mediocre blog back in the day called The Bitch Bible.

And from that sad baby turned into this like, you know, prophet Messiah baby, which is now this podcast, which I've been doing for three years.

If you're just listening to this now, I could give you like the ones, the episodes you should listen to and the ones you shouldn't listen to. They can all be hits. Ask Brittany. Ask Justin. Ask whoever. A neighbor, a friend. You know, I'm just a wholesome girl braving the social climate of 2018 with a martini

in my hand, hopes in my heart, serious blockage in my digestive system constantly, a twinkle in my

eye, self-deprivation and abundance. Oh, no, not self-deprivation.

Self-deprecation. God, it's hard being a genius. And on top of everything else,

...