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Distractible

Best of James (Compilation)

Distractible

Distractible

Leisure, Society & Culture, Comedy

4.927.4K Ratings

🗓️ 27 February 2026

⏱️ 64 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

There's baby fever floating around The Distractible Vault as we share some highlights from the last few years of Bob raising his son, James. Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

This episode of Distractable is presented to you by T-Mobile 5G home internet.

0:05.0

The folks over at T-Mobile have some big news for you.

0:08.0

They now have the fastest 5G home internet, according to the experts at Ucla Speed Test.

0:12.0

So if you want the fastest 5G speeds with a five-year price guarantee,

0:16.0

visit t-mobile.com slash home internet to check availability.

0:19.0

Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply.

0:22.2

Fastest based on Eucla speed test.

0:24.0

Intelligence data second half 2025.

0:26.6

All rights reserved.

0:28.1

From mini me to paternal pride.

0:31.4

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

0:33.4

It's time for best of James.

0:38.1

You got a baby. Oh yeah, that's right. Also, there's a baby. Wow. James. His name is James. James. I don't have to call him baby anymore. He has a name now, legally. James, that's a good name. Man, what would you think if I said it wasn't a good name? Oh, does James pay his taxes yet? Do you know tax seasons only three months away, little James?

0:56.6

Listen, daddy takes care of the taxes. Okay, James doesn't have to worry about that. Is that the whole point of having a baby to pay your taxes for you and stuff? I don't know what you've heard about babies, but no. No, don't even entertain them about this one. No, straight up, no. I thought they change your diapers when they get, like, old to get out of their own, and they pay your taxes for you and, I don't know, work so you can retire. So you had the critical ideas of old enough on their own, but what is that age that you think it is? After they emerge? Do you think that's old enough on their own? After the emberts. What's it called?

1:28.3

The emergent.

1:29.8

Yeah.

1:30.3

Emerginging.

1:31.2

That's why it's the emergency room.

1:33.6

Yeah.

1:34.3

Yeah.

1:34.9

They got all these pregnant ladies in there during their emergencies.

1:38.3

Yeah.

...

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