Best of "Guam" (Compilation)

Distractible

Leisure, Society & Culture, Comedy

4.9 • 27.4K Ratings

🗓️ 8 March 2026

⏱️ 20 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

PUT THIS COMPILATION IN GUAM! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	This episode, A Distractable, is presented to you by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet.
0:05.2	The folks over at T-Mobile have some big news for you.
0:07.8	They now have the fastest 5G home internet, according to the experts at Ucla Speed Test.
0:12.2	So if you want the fastest 5G speeds with a five-year price guarantee,
0:15.7	visit t-mobile.com slash home internet to check availability.
0:19.6	Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and
0:21.5	fees apply fastest based on eucla speed test intelligence data second half 2025 all rights
0:27.1	reserved Guam Guam Guam Guam Guam Guam Guam Guam Guam Guam Guam I'm here in
0:36.9	what are you doing right now some stupid Guam! I'm hearing Guam. What are you doing right now?
0:39.3	Some stupid.
0:40.3	Yeah, I agree.
0:41.3	I'm getting out of here.
0:42.3	Let's leave.
0:43.3	You and me Wade, 3, 2, 1.
0:45.3	Who over and leaves first wins?
0:48.3	Oh.
0:50.3	Wade is clearly right there.
0:52.3	Neither are few left.
0:53.3	Editors! Send me to Guam! What's Guam look like? I'm in Guam! Put me in Guam. You have no idea with that. Why do you look like you're underwater? I don't think Guam is underwater. Put me in Guam! Look at all this, Guam! Is that offensive? No idea, probably. I feel offended.
1:11.7	You know, to be fair to Mark, I looked up Guam and the first image was a beach.
1:15.7	Oh, pretty close.
1:16.9	Guam is a U.S. island territory in Micronesia.
	...

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