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I think the foundation to like having a really solid relationship with money in your relationship is to say and talk about

what your goals are, how you were raised around money. We've got to get to the context.

Because so often we see the difference and we judge. So figuring out how you both got to where you

are. And sometimes there are ice breakers. Like maybe you don't say like, can you show me your W too? But you say like, tell me about college. What was that experience for you? Did you like go part time? Did you work? Did you get a scholarship? No, I got student loan debt. Okay. That's fine. That's not a deal breaker. But the next step is like, what is your relationship with that? How are you like dealing with that

right now? I mean, having these really thoughtful conversations that are personal about each other's

financial situations can reveal a lot about this person's willingness to work through financial

challenge, their open-mindedness or closed-mindedness, asking about how they were raised.

I mean, one of the questions I ask on my podcast all of the time is what is a memory about money

that you had growing up that really sticks out because maybe it continues to guide you

or haunt you.

That's revealing.

And it's not to, again, use that as a weapon against your partner, but it's just to give

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