Beach Cops Episode 196: Gone with the Biznass
Slop Quest
All Things Comedy
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 29 May 2023
⏱️ 67 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now.
To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops
On this episode of Beach Cops, Aaron finally becomes one with Beach Cops as he plays Mad Libs with the boys. O’Neill gets some cool names for possible future kids. They come up with some more buffet style biznass talk, particularly a great new way to make $10 a pop. Then, Andrew brings out the Spring Break Uncle Ronnie songs, and O’Neill has no memory of his part in it and is full of shame. It ends with both Danish and O’Neill setting each other up for great knock knock jokes, while also ruining Andy’s.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You should never have to compromise on comfort. |
| 0:03.6 | Helix has mattresses with cooling technology that helps regulate your body temperature, |
| 0:07.8 | whatever this season. |
| 0:08.9 | By supporting Helix, you are allowing them to support us in our show. |
| 0:12.6 | Go purchase your Helix and thank me for your best night's sleep. |
| 0:15.7 | Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. |
| 0:20.9 | Go to helixleap.com slash beach cops, all one word. |
| 0:24.6 | This is their best offer yet and it won't last long. |
| 0:26.8 | With Helix, better sleep starts now. |
| 0:56.8 | You guys have a lot of problems, the bananas, the best fake, beach caps, coming at you, spitting |
| 1:24.4 | in your face. |
| 1:26.4 | I feel weird when you don't do a happy spooky season or eating ass at the end of a Danish. |
| 1:33.9 | I try to keep it clean for monetization. |
| 1:36.6 | True. |
| 1:37.6 | I mean eating bottoms. |
| 1:38.6 | Yeah, dude. |
| 1:39.6 | Why did you demonetize us once again? |
| 1:43.6 | Fuck it, damn it, dude. |
| 1:45.6 | Fuck it, I should have just pointed it out. |
| 1:51.6 | I'm a fucking piece of shit. |
| 1:55.4 | Jesus Christ. |
| 1:57.5 | You just took money out of my kid's mouth. |
... |
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