I am Yamla your host for this journey. I was a hopeless love a

hollic but just could not get my love to work. Then after a series of heartbreaks and deep heartache, I finally got clear about

what love is and what it is not. I want to share some of what I've learned about lover holism.

Welcome to the R spot, a production of Shandaland audio in partnership with I Heart Radio. One of the quickest ways to tear your relationship down and to tear yourself down in the

process is to expect others to give you what you're not giving to

yourself no matter what the reason is you can't give it but more importantly if you don't give it, but more importantly, if you don't have it, you can't receive it.

So very often in our relationships, we make other people responsible for giving to us that which we can only give to ourselves.

Sometimes it comes from childhood trauma,

sometimes it comes from laziness,

sometimes it comes from just not having the information we need

to make the next most appropriate steps.

And instead of researching and doing what's required on our own,

we lean on, depend on, expect other people to do it for us.

I'm telling you, it'll tear your relationship down.

At all times and all situations under all circumstances you must vote for you.

You have to vote for you, have to do what's right for you, you have to do what's best for you.

Because sometimes the thing that you're expecting the other person to give you,

A, they don't have, B, they don't know how to give it to you, and

see, they're just not willing.

Doesn't mean you have to do without it. Simply means you have to figure out how to give it to yourself.

Good afternoon, beloved.

Welcome to the R-Spot.

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