Ball Saves Lives (with Katie Kershaw)

Keeping Records

Headgum

Comedy, Society & Culture, Places & Travel, Comedy Interviews, Documentary

5 • 726 Ratings

🗓️ 2 April 2021

⏱️ 72 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Katie Kershaw (Mrs. Fletcher, Fargo, Pathetic Woman) thought hard about what to include on her Golden Record. And —truly? honestly?—it shows in its perfection. The aliens need to understand that humans are a species that should not be messed with, and they will learn that through our insane eating habits, eagerness to engage in awkward social interactions, and folk songs about fire. Katie's Artifacts Martina McBride, "Independence Day" (audio-visual) The coffee cup of a keynote speaker at a hotel conference (human ephemera) Rupaul's Drag Race seasons 1-13, plus all stars, plus international seasons (audio-visual) Muriels Wedding (audio-visual) The Best Man and The Best Man Holiday (audio-visual) Everything Kelly Ripa eats in a day (audio-visual) The moment in film, TV, or real life when a mom relaxes after a preparing a holiday meal (human behavior) The Mother Goose House in Hazard, Kentucky (architectural advancement) Garth Brooks, "Standing Outside The Fire" (audio) The moment when you're not sure if you should shake hands or hug (human behavior) Follow Katie! Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Check out our show and many hilarious other pods featured on Stitcher's first-ever Comedy Week! In-app or at Stitcherapp.com/comedy Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is a headgum original.
0:03.0	In 1977, NASA sent two solid gold records into space, so that aliens might find them and understand life on Earth.
0:20.0	I sent greetings on behalf of the people of our planet and friendly wishes to all who we encounter this voyager.
0:27.8	Now, we're making new records with our friends.
0:31.7	Hello, good-jord, al-Nan-Nihua.
0:34.6	We step out of our solar system into the universe seeking only peace and friendship.
0:43.3	We know full well that our planet and all its inhabitants are but a small part of this immense universe that surrounds us.
0:52.3	Hello from the children of planet Earth.
0:58.3	Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wow, wow, wow. Wow, here we are. Here we are in two separate spaces.
1:06.6	We're in two separate spaces once again. States. This is the first episode we've ever recorded in two separate states.
1:12.1	That is so true.
1:13.3	Well, physical states.
1:14.6	I mean, I think we've been in mentally different states for recordings.
1:17.7	Okay.
1:18.6	When?
1:19.1	Name a time.
1:21.0	For, for, I almost picked a guest to pick on and be like I was really melancholy during that recording.
1:28.2	But then I was like, I mean, what a rude and horrible thing to do.
1:33.2	What an awful and uncalled for kind of thing to be.
1:36.7	I was in a pretty bad mood the whole time we talked to, Blank.
1:39.5	Well.
1:40.3	How's Chicago, the windy city?
	...

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