I amla I amla I had a baby daddy relationship I spent time in a relationship with a married man I had to learn the skills and tools required to make my relationships healthy, fulfilling, and loving. Welcome to the R-Spot, a production of Shandaland Audio in partnership with I Heart Radio. Welcome, welcome, welcome, and welcome to the R spot, the place we come to

talk about relationships, all things, relationships, all kinds of relationships and the people in the relationship because you know a

relationship is really a neutral thing but when you put people in it, it can be a divine experience or a hot

mess. But we want to learn the tools, the skills, the the principles the practices that will elevate all of our

relationships into fulfilling experiences, loving experiences, the places we go to heal and learn and exchange

the most powerful parts of us, the parts of us that are loving and kind and generous. So today we're going to cook up a really peppered

stew, a stew about people in relationships and their history and their past and for me it kind

of grows from the lyrics of a song sung by Jasmine Sullivan.

Treat us bad, make us sad, then wonder why we are mad.

Because I know that is a story for so many women.

They are mad as hell about the way that they've been treated.

But one of the things that's kind of grown out of this, out of the treatment women have experience and about

the experiences that they've had is this whole notion of a bad girl and a good girl.

There's an age old principal practice expectation

about women in relationships

and that's that they are good girls.

Good girls.

Now what in the blazing be Jesus is a good girl?

Is that a church girl?

Is that a virgin? are they virgins anymore I don't even know what

what is a good girl for me a good girl one, she was first of all a virgin, or she lied about being a virgin or could fake being a version.

She went to church. She, you know, wore her dresses at a respectable length.

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