Bad Eternal Marriage Advice | An Interview with Monica Tanner
Leading Saints Podcast
Leading Saints
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 20 July 2025
⏱️ 76 minutes
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Summary
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MonicaTanner.com
Bad Marriage Advice
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Highlights
Monica shares insights on the importance of communication in marriage, noting that many couples express a need for help in this area. They discuss the dynamics of relationships, emphasizing that both partners must actively engage in the marriage to foster a healthy connection. The episode also touches on the stigma surrounding seeking help for marital issues within the Latter-day Saint community, where some may feel that divorce is not an option, leading to feelings of entrapment.
Monica explores common misconceptions about marriage, such as the idea that "happy couples never fight." They argue that conflict is a natural part of any relationship and that learning to navigate disagreements is crucial for growth. The discussion also addresses the problematic advice of "never go to bed angry," suggesting that sometimes it is healthier to take a break and revisit issues with a fresh perspective.
Throughout the episode, the importance of choice in marriage is emphasized. Monica encourages couples to view their relationship as a partnership where both individuals actively choose to be together, rather than feeling obligated due to covenants or societal expectations. They advocate for open communication and the necessity of seeking help when needed, highlighting that doing so is a sign of strength and commitment.
00:03:19 - Common Marriage Struggles
Monica discusses the prevalent issues couples face, particularly around communication and faith transitions.
00:04:54 - The Empty Nest Phenomenon
Exploration of the challenges couples face when their children leave home, leading to potential relationship reevaluation.
00:06:27 - Advice for Struggling Couples
Monica offers guidance for couples who feel tension in their marriage but may not have the resources for therapy.
00:08:34 - Unique Aspects of Latter-day Saint Marriages
Discussion on the stigma around seeking help for marriage issues within the Latter-day Saint culture.
00:10:55 - The Concept of Choice in Marriage
Exploration of how the perception of being "locked in" to a marriage can affect relationship dynamics.
00:12:22 - Agency and Choice in Relationships
Monica emphasizes the importance of making daily choices in marriage and the role of agency in relationships.
00:14:27 - The Importance of Communication
Discussion on the necessity of open communication in marriage and the dangers of complacency.
00:16:12 - Navigating Divorce Conversations
Insights on how church leaders can approach discussions about divorce a...
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Before we jump into the content of this episode, I kind of feel it's important that I introduce |
| 0:06.0 | myself. Now, many of you've been around a long time. You're well familiar with my voice and |
| 0:11.6 | with Leading Saints as an organization. But if you're not, well, my name is Kurt Frankum, |
| 0:16.5 | and I am the executive director of Leading Saints and the podcast host. Now, Leading Saints is a non-profit |
| 0:21.8 | organization dedicated helping Latter-day Saints be better prepared to lead. And we do that through, |
| 0:27.4 | well, content creation like this podcast and many other resources at LeadingSaints.org. And we don't |
| 0:33.2 | act like we have all the answers or know exactly what a leader should do or not do, but we like to |
| 0:38.7 | explore the concepts of leadership, the science of leadership, what people are researching about |
| 0:43.7 | leadership, and see how we can apply them to a Latter-day Saint world. |
| 0:47.7 | So here we go. |
| 0:53.2 | Have you ever had a loved one leave the church and your relationship becomes awkward? |
| 0:58.7 | This is so common and so sad. |
| 1:01.3 | I got the chance to interview the Packard family who have been down this road. |
| 1:05.5 | Cindy and Blair Packard are Orthodox-believing parents and Josh, their son, and his wife, |
| 1:11.6 | have left the church. We came together to, their son, and his wife, have left the church. |
| 1:16.2 | We came together to discuss their journey, and it was amazing what they taught. |
| 1:20.7 | They talked about the communications they regretted, and how other siblings responded in positive and negative ways. |
| 1:22.5 | They learned how to pick up the pieces again, express love, carry on, and build a beautiful |
| 1:27.4 | relationship. |
| 1:28.6 | This has become a favorite in the Questioning Saints virtual library. |
| 1:32.2 | You can actually gain access to this interview at LeadingSaints.org slash 14. |
| 1:37.0 | This will give you 14 days to watch the Packard's interview and many others related to helping |
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