Stop doing that.

What am I meant to do?

You can literally lift it and put it there as a pulse-up. Why do you have to do it like this? Why is that needed? Okay, I'll do your suggestion. Did you hear about the story about the bloke who, um, jump off? No, he put a chopped-up body in a suitcase, though. Oh! I didn't hear about that, go on. Jackie Dubs. She's a new lesbian.

Jackie Dubs is a Lesb up.

I don't know Jackie that, go on. Jackie Dubs. She's a new lesbian. Jackie Dubs is Lesda. I don't know Jackie Dubs was Lesda. Yeah. Yeah, recent Les. Bram New Les. Tracy Beaver's insane. New Les just dropped in the chat. I saw a man get stabbed outside of there was. Was it me? Sorry, too far. Too far room. Sorry.

My God, sorry.

And that bitch, because I'm motherfucking sad. Are we recording? Yeah, we are. Hello, everybody, and welcome to the Ustess Hotline Ironin Board Edition. Oh, yeah. This is... Are you bored because iron... Ironboard? This is our version of the podcast where we're using a mirror and a tiny phone microphone as a podcast mic and tables and chairs that we found at a church as a set.

Luckily I brought my lav mic so I don't have to alter my position.

Yes.

So we this is just what life is like on tour, baby. It is. What's your name? Oh, George. And I'm Max. And welcome to the useless hotline. We are on tour. Yeah. In Bristol. We've just arrived at the venue. Does it... Is it obvious that I'm hung? It is obvious that you're hung. You're quite well hung, actually. Thank you. You're welcome. It that looked really, really uncomfortable. Not going to lie. Yeah, but sometimes you've got to risk it for the shot. This is the money shot, baby. Right underneath my chin. Oh, okay. Right, crushy tips.

Beautiful.

Right, so we're going to be signing some of our tote bags that we are selling at the shows.

And, yeah, we basically thought we'll kill two birds, one stone, shoot a podcast episode for you lot.

And also do a job that we've got to do. So here we are. Oh, I like you watch. Thank you. Thank you. Totebag, done. Make sure you don't. This is what the episode's going to be. It's just going to be a series of, shh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-tote-back done. Oh, my God. Don't lock my microphone. Don't lock my microphone. Well, the reason that we had this table is so that we could switch them over quite nicely. But now we can't do that because you've got a microphone there. George, it's going to, you're going to literally ruin the whole audio dome. Stop doing that. What am I meant to do? You can literally lift it and put it there as a pulse-s.

Why do you have to do it like this?

Why is that needed?

Okay, I'll do your suggestion.

Thank you.

Let's hear a long as long. Let's hear of enjoying that.

Okay.

Straight past the mic again.

No, but not like, yes, look at that.

...