The following is not a sketch. These are the words, as recorded by an actress, of one of the only people who was alive and is alive today to witness the events that we're covering in today's podcast.

I used to visit my mother-in-law twice a week. She was living on her own. On that day, I brought her food steps just like I did before. I was about to leave when she told me,

we better give some food to the baby too.

Then she showed me to the bed.

I took a closer look at it and saw him.

He was on top of the bed, squeaking some funny sounds.

I could see his mouth shaped like a small pipe.

His tiny scarlet tongue was moving.

I also spotted two teeth inside. In a way, he looked like a small pipe. His tiny scarlet tongue was moving. I also spotted two teeth inside.

In a way, he looked like a little baby. His head was brown, and his body looked gray.

I didn't see any eyelids. He didn't have any genitals either. And the pupils of his eyes were

widening and narrowing, just like a cat's eyes do when you turn the light on and off again several times in a row.

The fingers on his hands and feet were pretty long.

I only bothered to ask my mother-in-law where on earth she got the monster from?

And she told me she found him in the forest.

She kept calling him Alishenka.

She kept calling him Alishenica. Alishenka. She kept calling him Alashenica.

Alishenica.

Okay.

Now let's go.

I'm Vincent.

With me as always is Joe.

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