Welcome back to the Look and Sound of Leadership, an ongoing series of executive

coaching tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want

to be perceived. I'm Tom Henschel, your executive coach, and today

we're talking about assuming equality. Vicky's boss was eager to promote her, but because she performed poorly in front of senior leaders,

her boss knew the review committee probably wasn't going to approve her promotion.

I got to see her self-defeating behavior firsthand one day when we walked from her office to a conference

room. A pleasant looking fellow came around a corner and stopped to say hello. As Vicky performed

the introductions, her bright engaging self began fading, her chin lowered,

her shoulders rounded and her eyes dropped to the ground flicking to our faces only briefly,

If I had ever questioned whether Vicky's issue was real, I had my answer.

Later, alone in the conference room, Vicky explained that the guy was one of the executive vice

presidents. She acknowledged he wasn't really

intimidating, but she said she just couldn't help herself. She started to go on, then suddenly

stopped, lost in her own thinking. A whole display of emotions crossed her face, and then she looked at me

with surprised Enlightenment.

This is what my dad used to talk about, she whispered. Her dad, she told me, was president of one of America's oldest and largest companies.

Growing up, she had watched people come to the house with papers for him to sign.

Some were relaxed and friendly, but others were

nervous, even frightened. Her dad was said the people in that second group came to

the house but never really entered it. Now she realized she had put herself in that second group

and she was determined to stop it. Clients regularly ask me to help them develop that elusive quality called

executive presence. We usually focus on those times when the stakes are very high

...