Welcome to the awesome marriage podcast. I'm your co-host, Christina Dodson. This is an Ask

Dr. Kim segment where people submit their questions for Dr. Kim Kim, and he answers them.

Thanks for listening.

Today on this Ask Dr. Kim segment, the question that we got submitted to us is, my spouse says

that they don't feel loved by me, but I try to show them

that I do love them. How can I make them see? I love them. Dr. Kim, so many couples are in this

boat. Can you shed some light here? You know, I think you're right. I think a lot of couples

are. They think, oh, my gosh, I've put in so much effort, and it doesn't seem to be paying off. You know, I'm really trying hard and I'm trying to show them. And I think it goes back to something we talk about a lot, and that's the five love

language. You know, Gary Chapman hit a home room with that thing. It hit the nail on the head because

it's been so applicable to people for, I don't know how many years that book has been out now. But

basically, his premise is the way we grew up, the way we were loved in the early stages of our life

is the way we experienced love the most. So the home you grew up in, the way your parents loved

you, those kind of things, you're going to respond to those things. And so then as a spouse,

if you know what your husband or wife's love language is, then you can love them in that way.

And I used the example before, you know,

my mom was gifts and my dad got that and he would give her little gifts all the time. And you could

just see, she just, I mean, it just warmed her heart. You could just see almost glow when dad

would do things like that. So I get married and I'm thinking, okay, we got married the first, first

month, first year, I'm going to give her a gift every month. And I thought that, okay, we got married the first, first year, and I give her a gift every month.

And I thought that was such a cool idea.

And so I was doing it.

It was like, yes, she seems to like that.

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