Arnold Palmer Rises From His Grave To Eat Cigarettes With You

Shutdown Fullcast

© Shutdown Fullcorp

Sports, Football

4.8 • 3K Ratings

🗓️ 8 April 2026

⏱️ 89 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What celebrity cruise did Surber describe as "smelling like old chili"?
The Masters victory dinner menus, reviewed, and why we can't have them in the NFL (short answer: "Pete Carroll")
Time for another meeting of our Mike Lombardi Review Board
Holding space to mourn the Big Ten's recent run of titles like the SEC honks we are
The Shutdown Fullcast is on Patreon. This is how we pay our producers, and occasionally ourselves. If you'd like to help with that, give us $4 a month (or a larger, funnier number of your choosing) and we'll give you bonus episodes. As of this recording we have delivered 28 (twenty-eight!!) bonus episodes since launching in August. We think this is a pretty good deal (for you)
Now through June 30, 100% of proceeds from PTKU merch sold through the Shutdown Fullstore will be donated to the Transgender Resource Center of New Mexico
Shutdown Fullcast is produced by Michael Ray Surber
Fullcast theme variant arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
DID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it’s not
Before the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason’s critically praised novel and other work
Travel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot exist
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz

Transcript

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0:00.0	Gene Simmons is on tour.
0:02.2	By himself?
0:03.8	With something called the Gene Simmons band.
0:06.3	Does it use the kiss font?
0:07.8	100% it uses the kiss font.
0:09.7	I always love the old band thing where no one can agree on who owns it.
0:13.1	And like they splinter into five different things that are all the same thing.
0:16.0	A Boston-like substance starring one guy who was in Boston.
0:20.9	Maybe this kind of thing prepared us to meet the Mississippi State
0:23.4	Message Board communities with equanimity.
0:25.8	We've got 37 guys named Tractor Bill who are tired of this shit.
0:29.5	So we're going to start Tractorbill.com.
0:31.6	Tractorbill, no politics.
0:33.4	Yeah.
0:34.7	Then there's a further fraction.
0:36.0	Tractorbill politics only. Tractorbill, no tractorb fraction. Tractor Bill politics only.
0:38.2	Tractor Bill, no tractor bill.com.
0:41.0	Man. So, uh, Gene Simmons is on something called the Rock Legends Cruise, 2026.
0:49.3	I know it's about this already happened. Yeah, this already happened. So if you wanted to go,
0:52.2	sorry, you missed it. It was in February. Uh, it is a lot of like, oh, you used to be part of something else. Art Garfunkel is here. What? John Oates is here. I'm going to ask this very seriously, Ryan. Yeah. Did he sneak onto the boat and they just went with it? I don't know. Was our Garfunkel just sleeping on the boat?
1:12.2	And they're like, oh, look.
1:12.9	Is anybody first built on the boat or is it all the ants? Let's see. I like this, man. There's some solos. You can bookhole new tag teams. Garfunkel and Oates. Yeah, that's right. Play is here. Play is here, everybody.
	...

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