Ari Shaffir Returns!
The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament
Joey Coco Diaz
4.8 • 18.8K Ratings
🗓️ 20 April 2026
⏱️ 149 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The triumphant return of Ari Shaffir to The Church of What's Happening Now for a special 420 episode! Ari and Joey are their usual wild selves talking getting Joe Rogan drunk on stage, their shared love of torturing people, and battling as a comedian.
Show Notes
Order a bouquet of roses & get another bouquet free @ http://1800Flowers.com/JOEY
Support the show and get 20% off your first Lucy order with
code CHURCH at https://www.lucy.co/CHURCH
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Kick this motherfucker, Neil Lee. |
| 0:05.1 | What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? |
| 0:07.1 | It's the church of what's happening now. |
| 0:09.2 | What is it? |
| 0:09.7 | New Testament. |
| 0:10.3 | New Testament. |
| 0:11.7 | It's Monday 420, so if you got them, spark them. |
| 0:16.4 | You know what I'm saying? |
| 0:17.2 | It's a beautiful day to be alive. |
| 0:19.1 | We got my man Ari Sh shafir the world fucking traveler |
| 0:22.7 | buddy i've ever seen you in so long i know we got a little cato the jewish fucking bomb of |
| 0:28.7 | death a what the bomb of death that's a new one tour bro we're gonna call net yahu's hitman |
| 0:34.7 | oh i like it all we're gonna get is bro that tour would sell. The Hitman tour? I want to do it. Netanyahu's Hitman. Me and three Jews. We're going to leave out one market, but. Me and three Jews. I like it. I like it. The protests will sell us tickets. We could do arenas. You would like to get protested? Yeah. Then people know. As long as I'm making money. As long as it works out. George is at this place. Listen, all I know is this. And George was there with me. 71, whatever, 87, 88. Brian Bosworth was the most hated man in the world. Right. And he got those fucking masks. |
| 1:12.7 | When you went to a stadium, you bought $10 for this mask that said, I hate Bosworth or his face or whatever. |
| 1:19.4 | One day, one of the announcers goes, look at these people. |
| 1:23.3 | They all have the Bosworth, like we hate you. |
| 1:25.4 | Yeah. |
| 1:25.9 | But Bosworth owned the company. |
| 1:28.5 | Right. But times were different. That's really fucking smart. They're selling tickets. They're making all the announcements on all the blogs. Like Joey Diaz performing, we got to get down there. Where and when? 7.30 p.m. on Friday. You're organizing the protests? Yeah. We're going to get one guy. I didn't know that. Threats. We're going to get fucking, and that's exciting. People, |
| 1:44.3 | then we'll do the show on the protests. Yeah. We're going to get one guy. We're going to get bomb threats. We're going to get fucking, and that's exciting. |
| 1:46.6 | People. |
| 1:46.9 | Then we'll do the show in the park. |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Joey Coco Diaz, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Joey Coco Diaz and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.