What's uh, pay it's Shaline and this is a crossover episode which means it will appear on both build your tribe and the Shaline show and today's episode is all about how to know if you're being a good parent.

Welcome to the Shaline show. Shaline is a New York Times best-selling author celebrity fitness trainer and obsessed with helping you live your dream life.

Okay, first a true confession. I released this episode or what was supposed to be this episode earlier on the same day.

But after I had recorded that episode and I don't usually relisten to my shows but after I had recorded that one and I didn't kind of off the cuff, I had this like weird in the back of my mind subconscious thought that maybe my message wasn't clear.

And several times over the course of the next week after I'd recorded it, I kept thinking in the back of my mind I should relisten to that one and see if the message I wanted to come across if that actually came across because I just had this nagging feeling because a lot of times I don't use notes when I'm recording a podcast or I do and then I go off them and for that particular episode I totally went off my notes.

And I had recorded that episode in kind of an emotional state where I had just heard in great detail what a parent was doing that seemed in my opinion really self-serving and I just felt like oh my gosh this person doesn't understand how this is going to impact their children later.

And I just feel like being a parent is such a gift. It can sometimes become a soapbox for me. I sometimes get a little too riled up.

My judgment and the way I was thinking and the message I conveyed when I relistened to it this morning, I was like oh wow that's not the message I thought or that's not the message I had intended to record.

I could definitely hear that I was impassioned that day and I still am but I wasn't thinking about some of the other important messages that I needed to slip in here and I need to make sure you heard because you are a great parent.

And I didn't do enough in that first episode to explain what makes a good parent. Like how do you know if you're nailing it and because I didn't do that I just kind of made the assumption well yeah like you know moms know that this is what makes you a good parent.

This one makes you you know probably create some problems for your child later I didn't do those things I just kind of like went right into what I believe is potentially damaging to your child.

And so when I listen back to it I'm like someone's going to listen to this and they're going to have misplaced guilt guilt for something they shouldn't have guilt over because they're doing a great job.

So I want to start this off by helping you figure out like almost give yourself a score like are you doing a great job or not and the reason why I wanted this on both podcast is because I think all moms all parents wonder if we're doing the right thing but working parents and especially entrepreneurial parents who we can have some guilt and I say entrepreneurial parents because for most people if you have a job it's like okay well when I'm home I'm done I'm not still thinking about my job now some people are hi hello there how are you please come back to me.

I'm not still there how are you please come and work for me that's the perfect employee but that often results in guilt as a parent.

But if you're an entrepreneur you kind of have a hard time shutting that off like ever so you can feel like you're working 80 plus hours a week even when your children are there even if you're working from home and so the guilt for entrepreneurial parents are people who are trying to work a job and start a business like that guilt can be a good job.

So guilt can be debilitating so here I am I reached out to Kristen my podcast manager and I said okay take both those episodes down ASAP it's not the message I want for people to hear and this is too important to get it wrong I need to redo this I need to go grab my notes and I need to do this in a calm and open state of mind because this is a really important topic because if you're a parent you worry about this you can call it mom guilt you can call it doubting yourself.

Doubting yourself it's really important and that's why we're always wondering if we're getting it right today I'm going to help you figure out if in fact you are getting it right not based on my opinion or my principles or my morals although I'm going to share some of those with you as well but based on how your parenting has the potential to positively or negatively impact your child's future as an adult first let's just get this out of the way whether you are staying at home.

Or staying at home or working outside the home or working in the home or wherever you are making money or not making money that does not determine whether or not you should have guilt as a parent or not and it also does not determine whether or not you're a good parent or not you can be a good parent whether you're in the home or out of the home that in and of itself does not make you a good parent or a bad parent every single one of us knows a stay at home mom who is a good parent.

She's destroying her kids you know she's staying home with her kids she's with them 24 seven but these kids are going to be so freaking messed up and we all know parents who work are on their own business and they're doing an unbelievable job of raising incredible kids.

Hi hi so I get this text message and it says hi this is Kate I'm your fit stylist from third love I'm like this is so cool so anyway she sends me a text message and she's like I just want to know how the bras you ordered fit.

And so I told her I said okay well I love one of them but the other one like the straps are even when I shorten them they still are kind of like too long for me do you have any suggestions.

Super cool she's like yes as a matter of fact based on what you've told me I think you should do the 24 seven classic contour plunge bra like how awesome is that.

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