Are We Trapped In This Podcast Forever? w/ Stavros Halkias & Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave

Society & Culture, Comedy

4.8 • 23.2K Ratings

🗓️ 4 August 2025

⏱️ 71 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Become a paid channel member of YMH to get 2 Bears, 1 Cave episodes one day early and AD-FREE here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYIgiXwJck_Pb5Nj-wIrsqg/join SPONSORS: -Get control of your overall finances with Monarch Money. Use code BEARS at http://monarchmoney.com for half off your first year -Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears -Go to https://bluechew.com to get your first month of BlueChew FREE! Just use promo code BEARS at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. -If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, download the free e-book “Navigating Global Trade: 3 Insights for Leaders” at https://NetSuite.com/BEARS . The Summer Bears are back and sweatier than ever as Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return to the Cave for a milestone 300th episode that somehow combines deep psychological trauma, ass-eating, and cholesterol awareness in one glorious mess. Chrissy D reveals his shocking bedtime history with his mom, his late-night transition out of her bed, and how a surprise with a tongue changed the trajectory of his life—and his act. Stav explains how a 3XL shirt, childhood grilled cheese binges, and SNL reruns turned him into the hairy Greek sex symbol we know today. The bears also dive into the state of late night TV (RIP), Jurassic Park boners, and why Bert and Tom might end up bankrupt with nothing but podcast houses and Uncrustables to their name. Plus, an unhinged Monarch Money ad read, BlueChew boners, Turkish military anal policies, and a heartfelt video message from Tom Segura himself. Are the Summer Bears destined to do this foever? Stay tuned! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 300 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:58 - Big Boy Shirts 00:10:15 - Tongue Punch Your Fartbox 00:19:21 - How Did This All Happen? 00:23:48 - Sleeping In Mom's Bed 00:37:17 - Stavvy's Hangups & Chrissy Late Night 00:48:27 - Bowel Movements & Old Sitcoms 00:54:39 - Stav & Chrissy's Movie Corner 01:00:47 - New Jurassic Park 01:05:01 - A Message From Tom Segura Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	100%
0:01.2	Hello, gang. We are back.
0:07.2	The summer, Bears are back.
0:08.9	Stavros Halkis, Chris DeStefano, filling in for our pals, Tom and Bert.
0:14.8	How are we doing, Chrissy?
0:15.7	Dude, it's a bear summer.
0:17.3	The bears come out of hibernationation and the bears are on the hunt.
0:20.8	I think it is Bear Week in Provincetown as we speak. 100% it is. That's why I have a show there. Go to Christy check out my site. But dude, it just feels good to be a bear in the summer. You don't want to be doing this in the winter. No, that's hibernation. Dude, we're by the river, we're eating salmon. We were just eating salmon and fried.
0:17.6	I was eating logs.
0:18.7	Dude, that's what we're doing.
0:20.0	We're bears.
0:20.7	We're eating salmon. You were just eating salmon. You were just eating salmon locks. Dude, that's what we're doing. We're bears. We're eating salmon, and we threw in a couple of croissants because we're different kinds of bears. You are sabotaging us here, right? Yes. Shout out to Benson's in the booth. Yep. You did a classic fat guy move. And even though you're not,
0:55.1	we've talked about it,
0:56.3	you're wearing your true classic
0:57.6	t-shirt that hides your tits
0:59.3	and your belly.
1:00.7	Yeah.
1:01.1	But you're not,
1:02.4	you're not,
1:03.4	you are,
1:04.0	you still have a fat man's soul
1:05.5	as we've covered
	...

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