Another Flat Cat
Shutdown Fullcast
© Shutdown Fullcorp
4.8 • 3K Ratings
🗓️ 13 May 2026
⏱️ 88 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
- Hand In The Dirt is perfect and you are the problem
- UCF celebrates its humanities graduates by demonstrating it cannot read a room
- We figured out why Brian Kelly's into AI
- Inverting the Diego Pavia legend for the good of everybody involved
- What do Jay Paterno and mold remediation influencers have in common?
- We (us and also you) have a new favorite cyclist
- People in college sports want enforcement that will pull their hair just a lil bit (Nebraska story)
- The Shutdown Fullcast is on Patreon. This is how we pay our producers, and occasionally ourselves. If you'd like to help with that, give us $4 a month (or a larger, funnier number of your choosing) and we'll give you bonus episodes. As of this recording we have delivered 29 (twenty-nine!!) bonus episodes since launching in August. We think this is a pretty good deal (for you)
- Now through June 30, 100% of proceeds from PTKU merch sold through the Shutdown Fullstore will be donated to the Transgender Resource Center of New Mexico
- Shutdown Fullcast is produced by Michael Ray Surber
- Fullcast theme variant arranged and performed by Christian Ashlock
- DID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it’s not
- Before the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason’s critically praised novel and other work
- Travel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot exist
- Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | uh jason black the fuck out it was it was like it was like his eyes rolled back in his head |
| 0:06.1 | it was so good yeah it was incredible it has taken the podium spot from the what if the |
| 0:14.4 | cc went to war with itself as like my favorite jason Turbo Jason moment. |
| 0:23.1 | It was very Clay Thompson. |
| 0:26.8 | It was very like, I'm going to score 37 points this quarter. |
| 0:27.8 | You cannot miss. |
| 0:29.4 | You simply cannot miss. |
| 0:33.1 | This is how we will contain those guys. |
| 0:35.3 | Contain masculinity. |
| 0:38.3 | Honestly, that is kind of how it works, right? Yeah. |
| 0:39.3 | We've got made it over an unpopulated area. |
| 0:41.3 | Boys go play in the backyard, right? |
| 0:43.3 | If you can get them, if you can get them arguing over tiny, minute differences in each other's daily routine for several hours at a stretch, perfect audio. |
| 0:57.6 | Just argue in the street. |
| 0:59.8 | Not in the house. |
| 1:02.5 | So do you put peanut butter on both sides of the sandwich and jelly in the middle? |
| 1:05.6 | No. |
| 1:06.3 | I aboard you. |
| 1:07.8 | I oppose everything in your lifestyle. |
| 1:13.7 | I condemn you as a man. I denounce you. |
| 1:22.7 | It is the, it's like that like hand in the dirt is brilliant because it's the balkanization of tiny little things in your daily life, right? It's what if it's it's work a day first take. |
| 1:28.8 | Like I don't I thought about this before. |
... |
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