Last week on Thomas and the Bible, Luke recalls Jesus' instructions for the disciples to stay in Jerusalem, because he'll be back really soon.

So they return there and pick a replacement for Judas, who spilled his guts after the whole crucifixion thing.

A mighty win gives the apostles the ability to speak other languages and preach to all the Jews in Jerusalem, warning them that the only way to avoid hell was to join the Christians and the Communist Party. Peter heals a lame man at the temple, which was a great attention-getter to preach more Jibis. Miracles still piss off the high priests, but after some threats and bluffs, the disciples are set free to continue to preach the word of Bernie Sanders. I mean, Jesus, with a yon count of zero. Zero.

A yon count of zero, I will not hear such slander. How dare you? How dare you, sir? Do not try to paint me as someone

not completely bored by this Bible, no matter what the reading is. I don't believe it. Someone must

have gone back and edited. Taking out my yawns. Yeah, it's the government. Blame them. There's no, there's no way that's true.

Or maybe, maybe they were yons, but Kevin just missed them because I don't, I don't accept that.

I mean, I will certainly try to do better. That's all, I mean, what's done is done. You know,

the episode's released. There's not much I can do about it.

I don't really believe in going back and, like, editing the file.

So all I can do is I can truly make a solemn promise to be better.

You know, I'll do better in the future.

I really don't know what more I can say, you know.

It's just one of those things. You just have to, either you're going to accept it, accept my

apology and move on, uh, with me or, you're not. And I don't, I mean, not sure. I've, I'm, I don't

have many more control over it than that. So, uh, pretty, pretty devastating to hear a zero yon

count episode took place. That's not something that anyone wants to have happen. You know,

certainly not me. Um, but, uh, hey, we can live and learn. All right. So, Acts 5, we're going to

read Acts. Um, and by, it's Acts, not Axe.

Um, it's kind of funny if it was just Axe. Acts 5 through 7. But a certain man named Ananias with Safira,

his wife, sold a possession and kept back part of the price, his wife also being privy to it,

and brought a certain part and laid it at the Apostle's feet. So if you recall, last time I had talked about the,

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