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The Angry Therapist Podcast

A Small Surf Moment With a Big Relationship Lesson

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.61.1K Ratings

🗓️ 28 January 2026

⏱️ 25 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, John Kim shares a simple moment from the ocean that became a powerful lesson about relationships and emotional repair. While learning to surf in Costa Rica, two very different encounters in the water reveal why ruptures are unavoidable—but repair is everything. One moment of anger leads to disconnection. One moment of acknowledgment leads to instant safety and ease. John also shares details about his upcoming surf retreat in Costa Rica—a space to slow down, regulate the nervous system, build real connection, and experience the healing power of the ocean together. A reminder that the strength of any relationship isn’t measured by how little we rupture—but by how willing we are to repair. 🎙️ Host Links: Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica. More information: HERE Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Redeem your lab bucks on free bet spins or even cash in for real money.

0:04.6

That's satisfaction from Lab Brooks.

0:06.4

And for extra satisfaction, here's the T's and C's.

0:08.6

Let's rock.

0:09.8

18 plus participates in selected promotions to get LabBucks.

0:15.3

Go get lap bucks.

0:17.5

With evening four, offers or rewards, lap bucks expire for T's and C's a bride. So she almost run over, she comes like five feet from me over, maybe five feet from me.

0:35.6

And she's coming directly at me. And and you know like I feel like the fins of

0:38.7

her surfboard's going to you know slice my face but she falls and then she looks back at me smiles and

0:45.7

says oh my bad or are you okay and in that moment I went from I want to slash this person's tires

0:53.0

she's like 12 so maybe she has bicycle tires or maybe ATV tires here in Ville,

0:57.5

I went from that to instant, like, oh, what a kind, sweet, adorable, awesome surf girl.

1:06.4

And the speed at which I went from angry to like, it's all love, it's all good was almost instant.

1:14.9

And the only reason I didn't stay in anger is because she looked back at me, made eye contact and said,

1:21.1

oh, my bad, are you okay?

1:22.5

So it was this kind of like human connection that she gave me.

1:26.1

And it was only three seconds.

1:31.0

I'm John Kim, a licensed therapist who used to be a miserable fuck before going on a hero's journey and turning expired relationships into revelations.

1:39.4

I use my story to help others come with you instead of at you, unrehearsed on purpose, because self-help

1:46.7

doesn't have to be polished or complicated, just honest.

1:52.7

So I just grabbed the microphone and I'm taking the computer outside and I told my wife,

1:57.6

I didn't want to do a podcast outside by the pool because everyone can hear.

...

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