How do you know if someone's cheating on you? How do you know if they're going to cheat in the future?

I saw a video recently of a woman who learned that her husband of 17 years had been cheating on her the entire time.

People will say to that, how didn't you know? Surely you knew you saw something. Well, today,

I want to talk about this. We're going to dig into this video and I'm going to talk about

cheating and betrayal in general and how it is that a perfectly healthy, usually intuitive person

can miss it when it's happening right in front of them, leading not only to what's called

betrayal trauma on a deep level,

but the madness of feeling completely blindsided when we realize what's been going on.

So I can honestly say that the 20 years that I was with my husband and the 17 years I was married

to him and I found out that he was cheating on me starting from year one of marriage.

I never once suspected that he was cheating on me.

17 years of betrayal that she didn't see, that she wasn't aware of.

That is a frightening amount of time to be unaware of a double life that someone is leading.

And it does, of course, lead to questions like, how on earth does someone not know during that

time? There must have been signs. There must have been something. And in a way, when we're saying

that, we're saying it because it brings us comfort to imagine that there must have been something

along the way that alerted her that I would see in my own perceptive ways that she didn't.

I mean, if somebody had told me that that happened to them, that their husband was cheating

on them the entire time they were married, I'd be like, um, you're very unaware because there

have to have been clues. Literally, I would have staked my life on him being faithful to me.

This is not actually uncommon. A lot of us had no idea. But is that really true? Like I didn't have the feeling that he was cheating on me,

but. So this is always the interesting part, right? It's the, it's the but. It's like when I

...