A Chinwag with Mark Simmons

Two Mr Ps in a Pod(Cast)

Two Mr Ps in a Pod

Education

4.8 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 25 September 2025

⏱️ 70 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A special treat this week. We are joined for a chinwag by the master of one-liners and top comedian Mark Simmons. We talk about jokes gone wrong, we challenge Mark to give us some one-liners for school to help us get through lessons and find out what Mark used to sell to his teachers back in his school days. Book tickets to his new tour: https://marksimmons.co.uk/ 📬 Want your story featured on the pod? Submit it here: 👉 forms.gle/sWCUVURZjtn6GeN16 🎟️ Get your tickets for the 2025–2026 tour (including The Lowry Lyric Theatre in May 2026): 👉 2mrpspodcast.com/live 🎟️ Make sure you grab your tickets for our next tour — it’s our BIGGEST and BEST one yet, coming to venues across the UK and we seriously can’t wait to see you all! 🗓️✨ 📍 Dates & Venues: 🎭 October 2025 18th: Manchester, Aviva Studios 🐝 24th: Rhyl, Pavilion Theatre 🌊 25th: Northampton, Derngate 🏰 26th: Hull, City Hall 🎟️ 27th: Reading, Concert Hall 📚 28th: Exeter, Corn Exchange 🌽 29th: London, Hackney Empire 🎡 30th: Worthing, Assembly Hall 🌅 31st: Guildford, G Live 🎶 🎭 November 2025 1st: Torquay, Babbacombe Theatre 🌴 15th: Belfast, Ulster Hall 🍀 🎭 February 2026 14th: Edinburgh, Queen’s Hall 🎻 15th: Newcastle, Tyne Theatre 🎭 17th: Birmingham, Town Hall 🏙️ 18th: Sheffield, Memorial Hall 🧱 19th: Leicester, De Montfort Hall 🦊 20th: Bradford, St George’s Hall 🏰 22nd: Cardiff, New Theatre 🏉 🎭 May 2026 22nd: Salford, The Lowry 🎨 🎟️ Grab your tickets now at 2mrpspodcast.com/live 🎟️ 👯‍♀️ Tag your teacher crew, bring your mates, and let’s make this tour UNFORGETTABLE! 💃🙌🔥 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	The Monopoly game at McDonald's is back.
0:03.0	There's over £2 million worth of cash prizes to be won.
0:06.0	And a chance to get your hands on some epic prizes.
0:09.0	Go on. It's your go.
0:11.0	18 plus UK ends 21st of October.
0:15.0	Selected menu items.
0:16.0	App may be required.
0:17.0	May depend on winning moment.
0:18.0	See victory rules.co.
0:19.0	com. Okay. And we are delighted to be joined by Mark Simmons.
0:33.9	Mark, how are you today?
0:35.3	How are we doing?
0:36.2	Yeah, really good.
0:37.0	Thank you. Honoured,
0:38.6	honoured to join you on the podcast. And we are delighted to have you.
0:43.6	I looked, you don't have that many guests. No, we don't, to be fair. Just, yeah, anyone that says
0:49.9	yes, really, we get a lot of nose. Do you really? I wouldn't even say no, we just get a lot of unread messages. Yeah get a lot of nose. I wouldn't even say noes. We just get a lot of unread messages.
0:57.5	Yeah, a lot of, uh, yeah, that's the worst part of podcast then.
1:01.6	Yeah. It's the rejection.
1:03.6	Yeah.
1:04.3	Honestly, like, I've stopped, so I do a podcast, um, and it, I basically, comedians come on and I get them to talk about jokes they can't
1:14.4	get to work. Right. And that is such a fun, such a fun podcast, but on paper, if you don't know
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Two Mr Ps in a Pod, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Two Mr Ps in a Pod and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.