Hello, everybody. This is a bitch Bible extravaganza birthday celebration episode for the masses i have been mentally preparing

for this for about six months um what better way to celebrate yours truly god damn it ah god the phone is

ringing off the hook it is 10 10.39 a.m. on the birth of Jacqueline Taylor, Shemmel, hyphen Haas. And I mean, I know this is an annoying thing to say, put it on the list. I am not a birthday person. Not like Bethany Frankel, crying in the bathroom.

By the way, every single day of my life, specifically on my birthday, I think about Bethany

Frankl having a level 10 meltdown after her ex-husband, Jason Hoppe, threw her like a 45th

birthday.

And then remember he bought her this weird like

mannequin, like a vintage mannequin or something, which is also so creepy. I thought it was a

doll house for some reason this morning, but I think that I just took creative liberty on that one.

It was like some weird, swirly, floridly mannequin.

And then his parents like refurbished it.

And they threw like a cocktail party.

And she was wearing like skinny girl boostier with like a little blazer and a very

wispy blowdry.

And then she's just crying in the bathroom, having a full mental breakdown about how much

she hates her birthday, but then proceeded to celebrate

her birthday many years following on the show i don't know that was a weird one bethany ever after

is like m night shaman somebody call him up and they need to revisit bet Bethany ever after because it is the scariest show

that I've ever seen in my entire life. It is tense. It is weird. It is dark. It's chaotic. But, you know,

not in the way that Bethany Frankel allegedly hates her birthday. It's not that I hate my birthday.

It's that I just genuinely don't care. You know what I mean? And I feel like universally, I've already

really wrung the sponge out when it comes to like attention and enabling an adoration from

...