In a good marriage you have the ability to tackle the serious things but also have some fun and some levity.

Just this past weekend my wife and I were able to get away. We took a long

hike up in the mountains and it was really refreshing. It was time spent talking about nothing

and everything, if that makes sense, kind of all in one.

I'm John Fuller, along with Dr. Greg Smalley and his wife Aaron, who head up our marriage team.

Greg, we need that ability to talk about the mundane and also the big

things in life that strengthens the relationship somehow. 100% you have to do both

because they do very different things for their relationship.

The serious conversations create an emotional depth.

That's where you really get to learn and understand.

Working through conflict, my dad, guy named Gary Smaller,

used to say conflict, as you walk through that,

that's the doorway to deeper intimacy.

And we kind of used to go well that doesn't even make sense it seems

counterintuitive but it's true because when Erin and I have those serious conversations

around even conflict well that's where I learn more about me,

about her or even something about our relationship. So it creates a depth of

learning that's so crucial that's important to have but we need like you were

describing your time with with Dean up in the mountains that it creates fun that

light-hearted to where the goal is just, we're just going to have fun together

because that creates a very different type of connection.

You need fun, that sort of connection, you need the deep learnings that those serious conversations can provide.

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