Hi, Jackie Shimmel here, writer-creator and currently paralyzed visionary behind blog

turned smash hit podcast, The Bitch Bible.

Today, I'm still not in a state to conduct myself with an EFLIS celebrity guest, so we

have opened up our hearts, inboxes and stash of office liquor to help you bitches out.

Think dear Abby meets girl interrupted meets the therapist you stopped seeing because

they were too harsh.

I'm feeling particularly frisky today, mostly due to exhaustion and excess socializing.

I'm not shy about the fact that I'm really a perpetual loner and I know people say that

all the time, but I am a loner to a very scary degree.

It's not an act.

I'm almost burdened by social activity unless it's with people I can be completely 100% myself

with.

I get that super contradictory, that was a hard word for me to say, sorry.

I guess like my job is basically to make conversation with strangers, but I have a very

short tolerance for bullshit, which makes me a blast on a girl's night out where everyone

just talks about their self-inflicted white girl problems.

I can't.

So this weekend, I had two of my best friends birthday parties in one night, which sent

me into sensory overload.

And then the next night we had our engagement party, I had given my cousin Jennifer a very

serious talking to about a month ago because I wanted her to behave herself because I didn't

know what the guest list was going to entail.

...