#99: "Divide & Conquer" + Off-the-Grid Ryan Calls + Sam Going on Dr. Drew + Air/TikTok Conspiracies
Broken Simulation with Sam Tripoli and Johnny Woodard
Sam Tripoli & Johnny Woodard
4.8 • 2.5K Ratings
🗓️ 14 August 2023
⏱️ 128 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
More stuff:
Get episodes early, and unedited, plus bonus episodes: www.rokfin.com/brokensimulation or www.patreon.com/brokensimulation
Watch Broken Simulation: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCob18bx1jaU1HYPCPNRnyog
Social media:
Twitter: @fatdragonpro, @johnnywoodard
Instagram: @samtripoli, @johnnyawoodard
The outro song is "Growing Growing Gone" by Fastball. Listen to it at www.patreon.com/fastball!
Want to see Sam live? Visit www.samtripoli.com for tickets!
Hosts: Sam Tripoli, Johnny Woodard
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Yes, hello. That's what we're in it. Yes. Oh damn it. I thought I was. I was a new head on. Johnny got a new head on. Not a new hat. |
| 0:24.1 | Johnny, is this your new season of football hat? I just want it is not a new hat. I got it last season, but it is a hat for football starting out. |
| 0:33.1 | Do you only wear during football season? Basically, yeah. I mean, I don't think about that too much, but it just kind of gets rotated to the bottom. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. I like hats. You like we're hat guys. We're hat guys, but I'm trying not to wear my hat as much. Why? |
| 0:49.6 | I don't know why. I just want to mix it up. I don't want to have a look. I want to be like a chameleon in and out. Wait a minute. Don't in entertainment. Don't you want to have a look up? |
| 1:02.0 | Yeah, but obviously I'm failing in my career. So I don't want to do that. I want to be like a chameleon. I want to like. I don't know. Are you just making shit up? Or is that real? |
| 1:12.7 | No, I don't I don't want to be known as the guy who wears the LA hat all the time, even though I am known as that guy. I just I'm trying. That's kind of cool, right? |
| 1:21.2 | Well, when you are, I know, but I just want to mix it up. I want to enjoy my hair while I can because you do have good hair. I'm I'm envious of it. Well, you know, I just recently got my hair cut. |
| 1:30.2 | Uh, I went to a all Mexican barbershop. Only because I like the pictures on the window. |
| 1:39.3 | Well, it was wrong with your current place. Okay. So I went to supercots. The Asian has no crew to fuck she's doing. So I'm like, I'm not going there anymore. Well, |
| 1:48.6 | having the old Russian or whatever it used to go to the duty was to get like the the price of the the the the haircut was getting to like $65. I'm like, |
| 1:58.4 | what are we doing here, bro? |
| 2:00.1 | The man's haircut yours is they use the tremors on your head. I mean, it's not. Oh, she is. So I go in there and it's like, is this a |
| 2:06.6 | hair salon or a daycare? There's kids running everywhere. You don't want that. Well, I'm like, I'm here. Let's go. |
| 2:13.4 | I'm like, are you taking a haircut and this woman got excited? Yes. Yes. Come in. |
| 2:18.0 | That's the way you want, dude. You don't want to walk into the barbershop and then just be like, oh, yes. And I might be dust off the chair. You know, it comes |
| 2:25.1 | sit down. I told you about how my aunt knew that the hair salon something was up because she walked in and they didn't have any |
| 2:31.8 | blue water for their. Yeah. And it turned out to be a prostitution ring. Oh, really? I never told you that. Yeah. No, you did. I remember |
| 2:40.5 | though something about the blue water. Yeah, the blue water. But that's interesting. My aunt is super observant of her. Yeah, she's like, there's no |
| 2:46.5 | blue water anywhere. And then he got busted for sleeping. That's really fun. Do we got beat that? Yeah. Damn it, Johnny. What kind of world do we live in? |
| 2:56.8 | Anyone just for YouTube. Anyway, so I go in and every picture is is Elvis. Like they almost saw Elvis was Mexican. That's how much it is. And then on |
| 3:08.5 | the screen is is Mexican television. And Mexican television is hilarious. Yeah. It is like a clip shell. Like their news is a clip shell. |
| 3:24.1 | Well, you were watching the news. They were watching news. I had to see what was ever on. And then I then I always try to go |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Sam Tripoli & Johnny Woodard, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Sam Tripoli & Johnny Woodard and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.

