98: You Know, the Manger? (Christmas Chick Tracts)

Apocrypals

Chris Sims

Comedy, History

4.9 • 650 Ratings

🗓️ 23 December 2021

⏱️ 87 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We suspect, Theophiloi, that it has been as much of A Year for you as it has been for your humble Sons of Thunder, so please forgive us for skipping the lengthy and intense reading we would’ve done for Hanukkah in favor of going right to a much easier Christmas episode to finish out the year. We’re diving back into the shallow pool that is Jack Chick’s hateful ouvre with three “classic” holiday themed tracts: The Missing Day, Holy Night, and Humbug! They’re real bad!

Topics of Discussion: The similarities between the Fifth Book of Maccabees and House (197 7, dir. Nobuhiko Obayashi), a Biscuit-based scam, the Strasbourg of the Midwest, a gift exchange, a wild reaction to chicken wings, Purebred Hoss Cat Energy, Home Alone, PCP, Boston nonsense, Bob Cratchit’s NFTs, setting an old tomato.

Hymnal: "Christmastime is Here" by Vince Guaraldi Trio, "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" by Darlene Love

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/apocrypals?ref_id=18246

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Isaiah 54:17

Transcript

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0:00.0	Why in heaven's name would God bother with insignificant man?
0:04.5	Man is rotten to the core. Man is a blight on the earth.
0:09.2	Humbug. Page 5, panel 2. Hello, friends and neighbors, and happy holidays.
0:38.7	Welcome to Apocryphals.
0:39.6	This is the podcast where two nonbelievers read through the Bible and charitably, biblically adjacent texts.
0:47.1	My name is Chris Sims.
0:49.1	With me, as always, is the other set of footprints, the other half of your humble Sons of Thunder.
0:53.4	Benito Serrino.
0:54.0	Benito, Merryino. Benito,
0:54.7	Merry Christmas. Happy, um, happy, um, happy, St. Thomas. Happy, happy, happy late November.
1:01.4	It definitely is that, I mean, I, I, uh, why would we say Christmas when obviously, it's Hanukkah?
1:07.8	We, we, we miss Hanukkah, Chris, we missed Hanukkah. We did. We fully missed Hanukkah. And look, that's not just on the podcast. David Wilkin, who you will remember from our Genesis commentary episode, are the only guests we have yet had on the show, although we're looking forward to having more at some point.
1:26.4	Still the best guest we've ever had.
1:28.3	Yeah, the absolute best.
1:30.6	No competition in that on a literal and metaphorical level.
1:36.6	His gift was the first one that I bought this year.
1:40.5	And I lost it until yesterday.
1:43.7	Oh, wow.
1:44.7	I have been searching for it.
1:47.0	And I was terrified that I threw it away by mistake.
1:52.0	Oh, man.
1:53.1	But it is now on its way to him.
	...

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