9 Lies That Will Destroy Your Marriage: And the Truths That Will Save It and Set It Free with Dr. Smalley Ep. 726
Awesome Marriage Podcast
Dr. Kim Kimberling
4.9 • 813 Ratings
🗓️ 5 May 2026
⏱️ 68 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In a culture that blurs truth and deception, marriages can easily absorb beliefs that slowly damage connection and trust. In this episode, Dr. Greg Smalley joins us to uncover the lies that are hitting marriages the hardest—and the truths that can set couples free.
We talk about why marriages are so vulnerable to these lies, how stress and unmet expectations make them worse, and how emotional distance and internal narratives shape the way we see our spouse. Dr. Smalley also shares practical ways to recognize and replace these lies with truth, plus insight from his own marriage.
If you've ever felt stuck in negative patterns or discouraged in your relationship, this episode will help you reset your perspective and refocus on what's true.
Episode Highlights:
-
Why marriages are especially vulnerable to believing harmful lies—and when that risk is highest
-
How stress, unmet expectations, and emotional distance distort the way we see our spouse
-
Practical ways to recognize lies, replace them with truth, and rebuild connection
Quotes from this Episode:
Quotes from Dr. Kim
-
"Marriage is an adventure full of highs and lows, good and bad."
-
"We live in a culture that tells us we should be happy above all."
-
"The greatest marriage advice is to ask how can I be a better husband."
-
"I think if you do the things that we, if couples do the things we're talking about today, you are laying the foundation for those empty nest years to be something very, very special."
Quotes from Greg Smalley:
-
"Differences are never the problem. The truth is differences are beautiful."
-
"What creates true connection, what creates intimacy, is safety."
-
"I want to be the one to love her in that way by affirming her."
-
"The key is for you to become that perfect person to marry."
-
"I want my wife's heart rendered open to me."
-
"It changes our marriages when we start caring about how our spouse felt."
-
"I want to create a campfire with my wife that we just want to linger around and just enjoy each other."
-
"Instead of thinking about resolving conflict, think about how do we repair conflict."
Time to Talk About it:
What's a negative thought or assumption I've been believing about you or our marriage lately—and is it actually true?
When we're stressed or things aren't going how we expected, what stories do we tend to tell ourselves about each other?
What's one simple thing we could do this week to feel more safe, connected, and quick to repair things when they go sideways?
Mentioned in This Episode:
-
Get a copy of 9 Lies that will Destroy Your Marriage
-
Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide!
-
Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Dr. Kim takes everyday 'traffic signs' that we all encounter and applies them to growing your marriage relationship in this plan: Traffic Signs and Your Marriage - Part 1
-
If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
-
It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | So the bigger culture preaches these lies in a way that makes them very, very believable. |
| 0:06.4 | Our Christian community, our Christian culture does the same thing. |
| 0:11.1 | Not always the same lies, but I think the culture and our churches, we preach things, we teach things that ultimately are strategies that could just never work. |
| 0:24.6 | But the problem is they sound right or they sound close to what we think should work. |
| 0:31.6 | So we try them, they don't work, we get frustrated, we then end up going, well, okay, it's not working. This is what I've been taught, this should work. We get frustrated. We then end up going, well, okay, it's not working. This is what I've |
| 0:39.8 | been taught. This should work. So maybe there's something wrong with me, more likely with my wife, |
| 0:47.2 | with our marriage. What a stronger marriage without another overwhelming to-do list. |
| 0:51.6 | Well, the awesome marriage one thing email series delivers one simple, meaningful action each day to help you reconnect, communicate better, and grow closer, emotionally and spiritually. |
| 1:02.9 | One thing, when email, healthy marriage, sign up today. |
| 1:07.6 | In a culture that constantly borders the line between truth and deception, it's easy for marriages to quite live so or beliefs that are dangerous to marriages. |
| 1:15.4 | Today, Dr. Greg Smalley joins us to uncover the lies that are hitting marriages the hardest and the truths that can actually set couples free. |
| 1:23.7 | Dr. Smalley's author of more than 20 books, including Reconnected, Moving from Roommates to Soulmates |
| 1:28.5 | in your marriage, and nine lives that will destroy your marriage. Alongside his wife, Aaron, he co-created |
| 1:33.9 | Ready to Wed, which is a comprehensive pre-marital curriculum, as well as the focus on marriage |
| 1:39.2 | assessment. Those are tools that have helped countless couples build stronger, more |
| 1:43.2 | intentional relationships over the years. |
| 1:46.3 | Let's go to the studio now so you can meet Greg. |
| 1:50.8 | Well, Greg, welcome to Los Marriage Podcast. |
| 1:52.9 | Thank you for agreeing to be here. |
| 1:54.7 | It's great to see you and I've admired you and the ministry you have from afar for a long time. |
| 2:00.4 | So it's so fun to be able to get face to face through the technology. |
| 2:05.0 | Yeah, well, thank you. |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Dr. Kim Kimberling, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Dr. Kim Kimberling and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.

