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Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

9. “I hid thousands of dollars of credit card debt from my husband”

Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi

Business, Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing

4.6124 Ratings

🗓️ 14 September 2021

⏱️ 42 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Jordan wasn't raised to talk about money. She constantly saw her mom withhold money matters from her dad, and now, history is repeating itself. Jordan has hidden her debt from her husband, Dan, twice. He feels violated. This is not the kind of thing you do when you're saving for a down payment on a house and building a family. He needs the problem not to happen again. Before talking this out with me, neither realized they were on the verge of a relationship breakdown. Most people don't truly appreciate the consequences of their actions. They run away from their problems and shove important issues under the rug. Jordan thought she could fix this alone, but her mom wiped out her debt the first time around (it takes her a while to drop that bombshell), and she's still learning how to talk about finances openly after growing up with a money code of shame and secrets. Listen to their initial money visions. They're as imaginative as a cardboard box. There are lofty visions of "travel" and "a kid," but no specifics. Nothing to get excited about. No wonder why they aren't investing or saving together. Tune in to hear how I coax out the clues from them -- and offer them a vision of where to go next. Connect with Ramit Website Instagram Twitter Facebook YouTube Linkedin Produced by Crate Media.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

I was running late from work and showed up at the office and she was having a conversation

0:07.5

with him and the first thing he was talking about as I sat down was how to manage credit

0:13.4

card debt.

0:14.8

Now that she had $10,000 of the credit card debt and I was like, you have $10,000 of credit

0:18.9

card debt.

0:19.9

I thought I could fix it for a long time.

0:24.3

It kept telling myself, why bring somebody else into this space when it's so awful?

0:28.3

I don't want anybody else to feel like this.

0:31.8

I just kind of felt like my trust was rock for those first two weeks, like I just kind

0:38.1

of felt violated.

0:39.1

And it wasn't even my money.

0:40.7

If we want to have a family together and grow together, like, this can't happen anymore.

0:47.9

I'm Ramit Sethi and this is the I will teach you to be rich podcast.

0:52.0

My guests today are Dan and Jordan.

0:55.2

Jordan earns $125,000 a year and Jordan earns $60,000 a year.

1:00.6

And for the most part, I don't really think about money that much or at least that's

1:05.7

what Dan thought right up until the moment when he discovered Jordan was keeping $10,000

1:12.5

in credit card debt from him.

1:15.5

And it wasn't the first time.

1:17.5

Let's listen in.

1:18.5

We were meeting with our financial advisor for the first time and had shared it in that

1:24.3

space.

...

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