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Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

8. “My wife is spending too much money”

Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi

Business, Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing

4.6124 Ratings

🗓️ 7 September 2021

⏱️ 43 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Natalia prioritizes experiences over finances. She doesn’t want to miss out on life, so if she wants to visit her family, she doesn’t wait to check their budget -- she gets on a plane. Andres, on the other hand, worries about money. He remembers growing up without money and doesn't want to go back there again. He's pushing to save, invest, and anticipate what's coming around the corner – especially now that they have a son.  They’ve both become used to only talking about money in the heat of the moment. Because of their different perspectives on money, they’ve adopted roles in their relationship: Natalia says she’s the overspender, while Andres is the worrier who tries to tamp down on spending. This is a classic push and pull role you see in so many couples. But as I dig in, you’ll discover some fascinating reasons behind the roles they’ve given themselves. Listen as I flip the switch on Andres's approach to the conversation he's having with Natalia. What if "we can't afford to go away" turned to "what trips would you like to plan for the future?" What if money planning was part of a planned conversation instead of a heated clash? What if talking about money was based on possibility instead of scarcity?  Listen in to this conversation with Natalia and Andres. Connect with Ramit Website Instagram Twitter Facebook YouTube Linkedin Produced by Crate Media.

Transcript

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0:00.0

I don't care about the numbers if I want to visit my family or if it's mother's birthday.

0:10.4

I know that we have the money and it's priceless to visit our family.

0:15.8

It frustrates me a lot because given the current circumstances that we are in, the only

0:21.6

one of the two of us that is able to pay for these kind of things is myself.

0:26.0

It's challenging when the discussion ends on emotional things.

0:30.9

It's difficult to respond, for example.

0:34.0

You don't want the best for our child and that it is not true.

0:38.8

I hate to have these discussions about money when he's so frustrated because I don't like this.

0:45.5

Natalie and Andres don't agree on money.

0:48.2

Now the short version is that she spends a lot and he worries about money.

0:52.8

But there's a lot lurking beneath the surface.

0:56.0

Just listen to this.

0:57.9

It's that feeling of I don't have enough to just pay for lunch.

1:05.0

I understand that fear, but you have a household income of around $300,000.

1:14.3

Welcome to I Will Teach You to Be Rich.

1:16.2

I'm Ramit Saiti.

1:17.7

Today's couple, Andres and Natalia used to live in Chile on very good salaries.

1:23.0

But now they live in Mexico and Natalia's income has gone down 35%.

1:28.8

Natalia is a spender.

1:30.4

She admits it.

1:31.6

If she thinks it's important, like visiting her family, then she'll spend without thinking twice.

1:37.8

Andres, who earns most of the family's disposable income, is the total opposite.

...

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