88. Giving Viewers Terrible Advice

I Never Liked You

Matteo Lane and Nick Smith

Comedy

4.9 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 11 September 2025

⏱️ 22 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week we’re handing out advice to our listeners. From life questions to messy situations, we tried our best… but don’t say we didn’t warn you. 🎟️ NYC! Our live podcast on November 14th is now for sale! https://wl.eventim.us/event/matteo-lane/659668?afflky=MurmrrPresents 🎟️ Come see Nick's live monthly show in Brooklyn September 17th! https://www.eventbrite.com/e/hear-me-out-hosted-by-nick-smith-tickets-1564770042319?aff=ebdssbdestsearch 🎧 Bonus Content: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/INeverLikedYouPodcast⁠🔗 Nick: ⁠https://linktr.ee/nicksmith09⁠🔗 Matteo: ⁠https://matteolanecomedy.com⁠🎬 Producer: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/chris.mp4⁠ #INeverLikedYouPodcast #AdvicePodcast #ComedyPodcast #MatteoLane #NickSmith 00:00 Intro 00:36 How Do I Find Love 01:52 How Do I Deal With Crazy Italian Mother-In-Law 03:14 My Friends Keep Cancelling Because They Are Hungover 04:07 I Love To Be Around Other People But They Piss Me Off 06:23 I Always Date Hot Jerks 07:12 How Do I Get My Mother-In-Law To Stop Posting Unflattering Photos Of Me 08:13 I'm Not Gonna See The Wicked Movie 09:38 My BF Wants A Cat, I Don’t 10:28 Exploring My Sexuality 12:02 How To Get People To Stop Talking About AI 13:58 Stressing About College 14:48 Eating Kiwi With Skin On? 15:38 How To Tell Someone They Are Not Good At Their Job 20:42 My Crush Is Outdoorsy And I Am Not 21:38 How Can I Stop Being Such A Sexy Ass Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Did you do them right this time?
0:01.4	Excuse me?
0:02.5	Well, you said like you always do, and they've always been wrong.
0:05.5	So if you did it like you always do, they're probably wrong again.
0:10.6	Or did you mean you did it right this time?
0:12.7	Listen, you f***.
0:14.8	Welcome back to the episode of I Never Like to with Mattelaine and Nick Smith,
0:18.0	and today we are going to give you advice brought to us by Michael Moody from our Patreon.
0:23.8	All right. I asked, and you all submitted, and we're only doing lighthearted ones.
0:30.8	Got it.
0:31.2	Because we're not actual therapists. No.
0:34.5	So first up, how do I find love when it feels like people are only interested in my big fat ass?
0:44.0	Oh.
0:48.7	Find someone that loves your big fat ass?
0:50.7	I don't know, but it depends on what they're looking for, too.
0:53.7	Find a top. Find a top.
0:54.9	Find a top, I guess.
0:57.1	First comes love.
0:58.4	Next comes big fat ass.
1:00.1	Marriage, then comes big fat ass and the baby cat.
1:02.5	I don't know.
1:05.3	That was the weirdest question.
	...

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