Page 94, the Private Eye podcast.

Hello and welcome to another episode of Page 94.

My name is Andrew Hunter Murray. We're here in the Private Eye offices.

I'm joined by Helen Lewis, Adam McQueen and Ian Hizlok.

We're going to be discussing the news of the last week and maybe the next week as well.

And in the second half of this week's show, we're going to be talking to Solomon Hughes,

who will be giving us a long, established expert guide to party conference from someone who's

been there, done that, drunk the warm white wine. He'll be telling us about that later.

But first of all, we should start with one of the biggest stories of the last week,

maybe the one that's caught most public attention. It was on the cover of the last issue of the mag.

It's Russell Brandt. And I think two of us here have met Brandt in person, looking at you, Adam.

Certainly not, no. No, me neither. I weird that we're the two who haven't.

Ian and Helen, you have. I'm guilty as charged, I'm afraid.

Yeah, and I can't comment, you'll have to speak to my lawyers.

So I first met Russell Brandt in 2013 when he

guessed it at an issue of the New States minute, which I was then deputy editor, I think,

by that point. I met him in the Savoy Hotel and I had a sort of side room of the tea room.

And he came in looking like a sort of huge gothic spider, all in black and then all this clanky

silver jewellery over the top of it. And he proceeded to tell us this anecdote about how

cattle were trampled in by cattle grids. But somewhere in Germany some cattle had learned to walk

over the cattle grid, like little steps, I guess. And then subsequently other cows that had never

met the original cows had also learned how to do this and wasn't this proof that there was a

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