88: A Miserable Pile of Secrets (The Da Vinci Code Commentary)

Apocrypals

Chris Sims

Comedy, History

4.9 • 650 Ratings

🗓️ 9 May 2021

⏱️ 160 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We weren't kidding, Theophiloi. We actually did a full-length commentary track for The Da Vinci Code (2006, Dir. Ron Howard). Did you know this movie is almost two and a half hours long? Because we didn't when we decided to do this. That is merely one of many shocking revelations that you can unravel along with us in this parasocial hangout sesh... OR IS IT?

Topics of Discussion: Listen, I'm not going to lie to you here, we talk about a LOT of stuff in this one, about 30% of which is related to the movie that's playing in the background. At one point we just stone cold talked about Spider-Man's costume for five minutes. You knew what this podcast was when you downloaded it.

Hymnal: "Mona Lisa" by Jerry Lee Lewis

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/apocrypals?ref_id=18246

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Isaiah 54:17.

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to Apocrapels on the Greenlit Podcast Network.
0:05.7	Make sure to check out all of our shows at greenlitpodcasts.com.
0:10.6	Totally untrue and twisted.
0:12.7	The devil would love you to believe this nonsense, and also that he is a hideous beast,
0:17.2	when in fact the Bible says he is a beautiful, perfect, created being.
0:20.1	Read it.
0:20.8	Then sin was fond in him, and Nahi was cast out of heaven.
0:24.5	There is no way that Jesus was married to anyone.
0:27.1	This movie is misleading, as other movies made by Hollywood.
0:30.5	When the so-called monk in this film was beating himself, he was crucifying himself,
0:34.4	thus insulating Jesus, because Jesus died for all of us, and there is no need
0:37.8	for anyone to do this to themselves. One star.
0:41.4	An Amazon.com review of the Da Vinci Code.
0:44.3	Oh, Mona Lisa, man, how the name?
0:50.5	Yes, old, like a lady with the mystic smile.
1:06.5	It only calls you long as that they name. Yes, oh, like a lady with the mystic smile Hello, friends and welcome to read through the strangers in your Hello, friends and neighbors, and welcome to Apocopal's.
1:09.3	This is the podcast where normally two nonbelievers read through the Bible and try not to be jerks about it.
1:16.0	Today, neither of those things is true.
1:19.4	Yeah.
1:19.8	My name is Chris Siv with me as always is the other set of footprints Benito Serino.
1:23.5	Benito, how are you?
1:26.1	I'm good.
	...

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