86: God Junior (The Third Book of Enoch, Part 1)

Apocrypals

Chris Sims

Comedy, History

4.9 • 650 Ratings

🗓️ 4 April 2021

⏱️ 112 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Do me a favor, Theophiloi. Take a moment and write down the number of eyes, wings, and faces, that you think angels have, bearing in mind that you listen to this show and we know you know that two, two, and one are not the correct answers to that question. Now look at that number and understand that according to 3noch, you are almost certainly underestimating how wild we're going to get in this episode. It's our third Apocryphersary, and we're finally tackling the infamously brain-melting Third Enoch!

Topics of discussion: Calling Benito from Target, a very challenging church sign, Chris's ongoing attempts to become milkshake buddies with YouTube content creator Jacob Geller, a quick hit of our hatred for Bob Kane, a truly wild secret identity, God Robins, Negenoch, Parasangs, the grossest thing I've left in the show instead of cutting out, forgetting the Power Stone for a long minute, Watchamacallits, Saphiriel H Who Killeth, the different ways to interpret the phrase "full of eyes."

Hymnal: "Angeleyes" by ABBA, "Angeleyes" by Stephen Mann of English Martyrs Church

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/apocrypals?ref_id=18246

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Isaiah 54:17.

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to Apocrypal's on the Greenlit Podcast Network. Make sure to check out all of our shows at greenlitpodcast.com.
0:08.8	Fourth with, my flesh was changed into flames, my sinews into flaming fire, my bones into coals of burning juniper, the light of my eyelids into splendor of lightnings, my eyeballs into firebrands, the hair of my head into
0:21.7	dot flames, all of my limbs into wings of burning fire, and the whole of my body into glowing
0:27.0	fire. And on my right were division six of fiery flames, and on my left firebrands were burning,
0:32.3	round about me, storm-wounded tempest were blowing, and in front of me and behind me was
0:36.6	roaring of thunder with earthquake.
0:38.9	The third book of Enoch, chapter 15.
0:41.9	It's a game he likes to play.
0:47.6	Look into his angel eyes, one look and you're hypnotized.
0:54.0	He'll take your heart and you're hypnotized He'll break your heart
0:56.2	And you must pay the prize
0:59.1	Look into his angel lies
1:02.8	You think you're in paradise
1:05.8	And one day you're
1:08.0	Hello friends and neighbors
1:09.1	And welcome to Apocrypal's
1:10.8	This is the podcast where two nonbelievers read through the Bible But we try not to be jerks about it Hello, friends and neighbors, and welcome to Apocopalus.
1:14.8	This is the podcast where two nonbelievers read through the Bible, but we try not to be jerks about it.
1:17.0	My name is Chris Sims.
1:18.5	With me as always is Benito Serino.
1:20.8	Benito, he has risen.
1:22.3	Indeed, he has risen.
	...

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