Thank you, brothers, sisters, siblings for joining us in the story.

The story must be told.

The story must be told.

All right, we've got a lot going on today, so we'll get down to business.

First, a reminder to everyone in the congregation

to please not put a finger in Shalm's mouth unless you feel like donating a finger to the story.

Shalms has officially grown a mouthful of teeth, and I do mean full, like an ashtray stuffed with so many butts that they poke out

in different directions. Brother Reed thinks he'll lose the extras eventually until he has just the good

teeth, like pruning a tooth bush. Yuck. I really hate that I need to keep talking about

about that boy

Okay needless to say

Sholms is teething, ornery, and supernaturally capable

It's not enough to just not put your fingers in his mouth

Hide your fingers he will find. Brother Reed, thank you,

Pastor Andrew. Like he said, we have a lot going on, so I'll make this brief. As you all know,

my bones have been disappearing after I sacrificially contaminated myself a couple weeks back.

Oh, yeah.

Thanks again, bud.

No problem, bud.

Well, it's spread to my vertebrae, so you might notice I am several inches shorter.

I've consulted the story and decided this is, honestly, what I deserve.

But in a surprising twist, I can now do this.

...