78. There When You Need Me

The Story Must Be Told

The Last Podcast Network

Arts

4.8 • 530 Ratings

🗓️ 9 July 2019

⏱️ 22 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

When the sick have fallen, do you bend your sweet lil knee? Oooh, do you squat those hams, look your sweaty neighbor in the eye and say, "You alright, my good friend?" Yeah yeah, don't tell me your secrets, no no, keep that to yourself. Listen righteously, because this one "happened." Invocation Demonstration of A Novel Life Saving Technique/GreaCR Liturgical Reading: “There When You Need Me” Concluding Prayer No! I said, "don't tell me your secrets!" Well, that does it. Yeah, I didn't want to know your secrets, but now I do. Yep, heh heh, every gosh darn one. Now you have to come back. Otherwise I'll tell Uncle Garnns what you did to his cherry tomatoes one after another after ANOTHER.

Transcript

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0:00.0	All right, everyone in.
0:16.0	You two.
0:18.0	Hey, those two, they're the last ones, okay?
0:20.0	All right, close the doors. Close the doors.
0:24.8	Okay, hey, if you wanted to get in on this incredible discovery, you should have showed up early.
0:30.8	I mean, we only have so much room. The story punishes your sloth. Now shut the doors.
0:43.3	Oh, sorry, I feel good with those story fakers locked out. Yeah, sorry to divide you all so, but this service is only for the truest members of our congregation.
0:50.3	The story must be told.
0:52.3	The story must be told. Let me ask you, what do you do if someone isn't breathing?
1:00.0	Yeah, I see you all mouthing the answer.
1:03.0	Three simple letters.
1:05.0	C.P.R.
1:08.0	But let me tell you something that will shock you.
1:12.1	CPR.
1:13.6	CPR is a whole bunch of bull-hooey.
1:16.9	Now, excuse my language, but it's full on bull.
1:21.4	Ooh, Pastor Andrew, you mean the government, doctors, media,
1:25.6	and instructive charts and dining establishments have been lying to me?
1:30.7	Uh, hello!
1:32.2	Yes!
1:33.2	A thousand times yes!
1:35.5	Listen to me clearly.
	...

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