77: Strippers vs Birthday Cakes

Stiff Socks

Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein | Audioboom Studios

Stand-up, Comedy

4.8 • 7.3K Ratings

🗓️ 8 July 2020

⏱️ 61 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Trev and Blau talk crazy about peeing your pants, helicoptering your penis, and how any job can be a porno. They also discuss the always important nut nap. This is a doctor podcast.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	When the fire we saw that grand finale you can just see all the fireworks being like
0:06.8	Dude I hate everything what happened what's going on my car got hit
0:11.0	$13,000 damages. It's just like what is it got a throw away?
0:13.9	But the memories like you know here's a shitty part, you know, right things could always be worse
0:19.8	No, that's not what I want to hear right now, you know everybody's like and it could have been everybody was fine
0:25.3	That's that's not the biggest like everyone is fine. Obviously that's the biggest concern there
0:30.1	Nobody was hurt, but it's just like the inconvenience factor of going and getting a rental car and being on literally I
0:37.3	Would pay somebody $500 just to talk to an insurance agent for me
0:41.2	The fuck when you talk to them and then they have these like scripted voices where they've they can only say things back
0:46.6	Like you could be like you dumb fucking idiot and they're like sir
0:49.3	We understand your frustration, but here at someone so insurance. We understand you and like what it you're who are
0:54.6	Speak you have AI. I like to say this one thing. I just want them to break just give it to me right on a battery. Oh Roger
1:02.6	Break character for a second speak to me man to man. I don't know if you want Roger to break character. I do dude
1:07.8	He would be like I hate my food a wife my two kids
1:10.2	I want that I want that person a person just so I can be like we're on the same page Roger. Yeah
1:18.0	Listen for $30,000 someone better be dead
1:21.0	You know, I mean that's where I'm at for 13,000 dollars. I need two to three people to be dead for me to even think about maybe
1:28.3	Hopefully maybe deal with that dead dude. We want to add fucking everyone's fine. You better not be fine
1:34.9	Jesus, you hit my car Texan driving
1:37.9	No, yeah, I don't want you to be dead, but like I need you to hurt like I have trouble walking for a little bit
1:44.0	This guy's fine, isn't he get cat or X? What is cat or X don't cats get that? Is that what your eyes? You great dogs get that I think you do it
1:51.0	I mean, I should put some set my dogs get gray eyes right now. I miss her. That's you miss her. Well, she's still alive
	...

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