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The Art of Charm

768: How to set boundaries that set you free

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Business, Health & Fitness, Education

4.711K Ratings

🗓️ 8 July 2019

⏱️ 49 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Establishing boundaries can feel intimidating if you’ve never successfully set them before, so why are they so important when it comes to maintaining healthy relationships? Why does a lack of boundaries often lead to undesirable outcomes? What formula can you follow to start setting boundaries today? We’ll answer all those questions this episode. What to Listen For What is causing most of the problems in your communication and how can you become more aware of them? Why is it important to set boundaries early on and how do you set boundaries respectfully? How can you be more proactive in dealing with conflict? Who is more likely to win in arguments and why does it not matter in the way you might think it does? What is the best way to approach someone who refuses to acknowledge clearly defined boundaries? Why does a lack of boundaries lead to resentment? How does too much freedom in a relationship lead to you feeling miserable? Why is it important to have clearly defined boundaries between home and work if you don’t have a dedicated work space and how can a lack of boundaries be detrimental to your productivity and your personal relationships? How can you be assertive without coming across as disrespectful? What formula can you follow to establish clear boundaries in your relationships and how can you make it a respectful cooperative effort? Setting boundaries in a relationship can feel like you are telling someone how to act - but in reality, setting and enforcing healthy boundaries allows you to be comfortable being yourself while communicating who you are and who you want to be to the people you care about. We all have different definitions of what it means to treat someone well and respect their time, so if you don’t communicate YOUR definition of what that is, don’t assume people can read it directly from your mind. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! SAXX Underwear’s patented BallPark Pouch is a game-changer! They have internal mesh panels that keep everything in place, and they're made with super-soft, moisture-wicking fabrics, allowing our boys to breathe and even repel B.O.! Go to SAXX Underwear at SAXXunderwear.com and use the discount code CHARM at checkout to get $5 off – PLUS free shipping on your first purchase! Sun Basket works with the best farms and suppliers to bring you fresh, organic produce and responsibly-sourced meats and seafood. Go to sunbasket.com/artofcharm to get up to $80 off. Resources from this Episode Episode 767: How to master communication in a relationship Episode 725: Boost Your Emotional Intelligence w/ Michael Ventura Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Transcript

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0:00.0

This is the Articharm podcast to show where we bring you actionable tips and strategies

0:05.0

to connect better socially, boost your emotional intelligence and navigate social behavior.

0:09.8

I'm AJ.

0:10.8

I'm Johnny.

0:11.8

This month, we are exploring the connections we have with people and how to strengthen them

0:16.2

when they're strained.

0:17.2

In the previous episode, we talked about ways in which you can strengthen the bonds you

0:21.1

already have in your relationships.

0:23.3

In today's episode, we're going to take this a bit further and talk about the problems

0:27.2

that can arise in any relationship and how to deal with them.

0:30.5

We're going to talk about what is causing most of the problems in our communication

0:34.2

and how we can become more aware of that, why we need to set boundaries respectfully

0:39.6

and we'll also give you a formula to do just that.

0:42.2

So let's roll.

0:44.2

Now, obviously, conflict for a lot of us is a scary thing.

0:57.2

And I know for myself, I've talked about this on the show in the past.

1:00.8

I was raised to avoid conflict.

1:03.5

And this is a pattern and behavior that I got from my dad and watching him deal with conflict.

1:09.4

It was either an immense amount of anger or silence.

1:13.3

And for me, avoiding conflict certainly led to even bigger conflict in my life with friends,

1:19.9

with partners, women I was dating.

1:22.3

So understanding our own behavior, as we talked about last week and the way we communicate

...

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